My lips parted in the heavy tightness that followed.
It was disarming, to hear his own struggles and see how much they mirrored my own. I didn’t want him in danger, either.
But it saw it as the offering it truly was. A step towardeverything.
My skin began to heat, suddenly feeling like a cage I wanted to rid myself of.
Because I could sense it, his vulnerability in the air and my own instinct to match it.
A flutter of something more stirred in my chest. It made me want to push the truth out, in all its shameful ugliness.
Have someone else carry the burden with me.
He was the only being in this world I could admit it to right now.
Despite everything, I knew he’d understand the weight of it all.
“The Protectorate crown won’t accept me,” I said, a guilty wobble in my voice.
My admission sounded worse now that it was free.
In the next breath, Ryker was in front of me. His hands rose, ready to embrace me, but he stopped at the last moment. I wished he hadn’t, but couldn’t bring myself to admit it out loud.
“That’s not possible,” he said. “You were made to be a leader.”
“Apparently not,” I said through the growing knot in my throat.
He kept shaking his head. “How do you know?”
I just raised my brows at him.
“Dax.” He sighed. “At least the crown is in your possession.”
So that I could keep it hidden and despair over its indifference.
“Allie,” he murmured. “Look at me.”
I hadn’t even realized my gaze had drifted away in shame. With great effort, I met his eyes, even as my insides quaked with unshed tears.
“A piece of metal, no matter how powerful, cannot decide your fate,” he said softly. “You’re a good, fair leader. I saw you on Sanctua Sirena. In Solkar Reach’s passage.”
“I can’t–” I swallowed past the lump in my throat, eyes reaching for the ceiling as their corners stung. “I can’t lead the Protectorate army without it. You’ll have to face the Serpents alone.”
“Nobody was expecting help from the Protectorate,” he said, gentle voice withering the unshed tears away. “The Serpents declared war on us, not you.”
“What if you need help? No other Clan will come to your aid.”
They’d all rejoice if a strong Clan like the Blood Brotherhood fell and everyone could scramble to bleed it dry in the power void.
And I was powerless to help in any real way. My arrows and power couldn’t replace an entire army.
“No. But we have the mightiest army,” he said, sounding like he was trying to convince both of us. “And we will solve the Protectorate army problem after the war, when we won’t be in mortal danger.”
We.
I nodded. Evie would become queen tomorrow, more powerful than both of us. If the Blood Brotherhood won the war, we could take the Protectorate back.
I hoped. It was the only thing keeping me standing.
