“I lack your interspecies eloquence. But I can pick up discarded fur like anybody else–I think some people call it cleaning?” he said, though his voice lacked that joyful lilt. “We shed, they shed, but theirs is better. I’m taking an entire sack of it when I leave.”
I sighed again. “Fine.”
He frowned. “NoDax, that’s almost stealing?”
“I’m not in the mood for fighting today.” I stared at Nadya’s door. “You have any idea where she is?”
“Probably prowling the deserted streets. She seems like the type to choose isolation instead of talking.” He tapped his fingers on his thigh before hesitantly placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about Geryll.”
I closed my eyes as another stab of pain raced through me.
“It’s–it doesn’t make sense,” was all I could say through my tightening throat.
He swallowed thickly. “Death rarely does.”
“He was so young.” I shook my head. “It’s not fair.”
“It’s not,” he said gently. “Nothing that has happened in the last few months is fair.”
“No, it’s not.” I rolled my shoulders back. “Now let’s go dig into those memories of yours and hopefully find something–anything–that can help us.”
“My last three remaining truth serum vials and I are at your service.”
“Three?” I gulped.
“Yes. Maybe I can convince your Commander to bring in more ingredients.”
“He–he already left,” I said, feeling hollow.
As soon as the first rays of dawn had shimmered through my windows, he’d gotten up, face still set in stone. We’d fallen into a restful sleep and woke up tangled in each other’s arms, our breaths merging together just like the flow of feelings we couldn’t halt.
We’d exchanged no words, only glances, as he’d gotten ready for war once more. Daggers in his baldric, furs on his shoulders, no life or spark in his eyes.
His fingers had lingered on Geryll’s shield.
“I’ll guard it,” I’d said.
“Thank you,” he’d sighed. “You’ve guarded the crater, now this. I’ve asked so much of you.”
“Not you. Life. I volunteered for the inevitable.” I’d stood up straight in bed, but didn’t dare leave it. If I did, I might have wrapped my arms around him and asked him not to leave again.
“Still.” He sighed. “These sacrifices wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been in your life.”
“You bear the battlefield, I bear protecting the crater. It’s what we have to do.” I fisted the sheets to keep my hands from shaking. “For now. A time will come when I have to ask sacrifices from you. And I will ask.”
He’d turned then, a flicker of eagerness breaking the hollowness in his eyes. “It would be my absolute pleasure.”
“Then live, so I can profit off you.”
A corner of his mouth lifted for the barest moment, the first rays of sun brushing against the side of his face, making him look like a fallen god. “I will try my very best, Huntress.”
“I’ll keep you to that, Commander.”
The moment he’d left, my room and heart turned cold. I’d jumped out of bed a second later, unable to stand still and face the emptiness alone, and I’d been moving ever since.
“That was fast,” Dax said.
“That’s what’s needed.” I sighed. “Better make the most of those vials.”
