And I couldn’t carry Geryll back.
Not like this.
I couldn’t subject Nadya and Mrs. Thornbrew to seeing him torn like this. I would carry this burden alone.
Better if they remembered him as he’d been.
A soul too innocent for this world.
“Why did you follow us, Geryll?” I whispered.
No answer.
Chapter 58
Allie
The icy rain hit my face with a vengeance, as if the crater itself sensed Ryker’s anguish and mourned alongside him.
The roof’s slates were as soaked as I was. I stood there against the elements, heart small, eyes honed in on the rim, with only Sylvester to keep me company on my strange vigil.
I could feel him, running around the lip, stopping for only the briefest moments, then dashing to the next location, probably hiding the same dangerous contraptions he’d used to secure the entrance.
But the rim was too wide, too gaping to protect it through human means.
Yet he tried.
Despite the impossible task.
Despite the bottomless pit of despair that still pulsed from him into me. Even then, I could feel he was trying to temper and shield its magnitude from me.
Why I could sense his pain was a problem I couldn’t deal with. Not right now, when it felt like the world was falling apart.
The vestiges of his sorrow left me on the brink of tears, the corners of my eyes stinging constantly. But this strange hurt was only the tip of my own unease.
I didn’t know who had died.
I’d only been hit with the unstoppable wave of emotions, I couldn’t see through his eyes. And, for that, I was thankful. Gods knew what had happened to unbalance an unshakable man like Ryker.
I took small comfort in knowing he wouldn’t have suffered so much if Evie or any of my cousins had been taken from this world.
This loss had cut deep and left him raw. It had been personal.
If one of his Blood Brotherhood Elite members had fallen, the chances of winning the war dwindled.
If the Dragon had died…
I shook my head. I couldn’t even think about that.
A dead heir to the throne left a power vacuum no amount of good intentions or scheming could fill. An army without a leader, even a symbolic one, was only a bigger, unruly target for our enemies. And with him gone, whatever protection Evie had would crumble.
I fisted my palms, eyes tracking Ryker’s invisible path. That strange pulse which had been simmering at the base of my skull all these weeks suddenly made frightening sense.
As if my body couldn’t stand any distance between us when he was this close. Like my spine was a beacon, sensing his approach and wanting to quicken the reunion.
Madness, of course.
But an undeniable one.
