An ugly truth, but the truth all the same.
He shook his head. “Then…”
“Then what’s the problem, right?” I laughed grimly. “I didn’t do it. You did. It’s quite the pattern,Commander.”
I gripped the dagger tighter, staying my hand. I was furious, not insane.
“See, you keep hiding secrets and then just expect me to tolerate it. You get to do whatever you want and I get to accept it.”
His eyes sparked with fury. “That is not what I want–”
“It’s what you did. I’m holding the embodiment of it to your throat.” I angled the dagger, tipping his chin even further.
It curled my stomach to hold the dagger which had killed my father to his throat. I still did it anyway.
Perhaps because I knew I wouldn’t wound him.
Or maybe because I wanted him to feel even a shred of my fear and hurt.
“That was different,” he said.
“Yes. You hid this dagger before you said you’d always be there for me,” I said, the last words furious. I licked my lips. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of my emotions. I already felt like they poured out of me when I was around him.
Realization finally sparked in his gaze. “That’s why you’re hurt.”
“I’m furious. We were supposed to be on the same side.”
“We are,” he argued, voice rising.
“No. There’s your side, and there’s mine. You’ve made that very obvious,” I spit the words out, no matter how much they pained me. “But it’s good that we know now. Better the harsh truth than whispered lies. And here’s another truth and I hope you get it this time.”
I grabbed the back of his head.
He let me.
In fact, he let me orchestrate this entire display, though he could have frozen me where I stood with that menacing power of his.
I brought our faces together until I could feel his breath ghosting across my cheek.
“I am not some meager little thing who will alwaysunderstand,” I said fiercely. “I will not live my life at the outskirts of anyone else’s decisions. I have honed myself into a being whose name is whispered in all corners of Malhaven. Wemay be forced to marry, but I will not be relegated as a secondary character to your existence.”
My words ricocheted off the stone walls.
I heard the hurt in them.
They almost sounded like a wail.
“I’m sorry,” he said. The apology didn’t waver. “That my actions and decisions have made you think you are not important–especially to me–and that you’ve been relegated to someone whose only role is to support and forgive.”
A flicker of warmth threatened to pass my shield of hurt. He’d struck right to the heart of the matter, didn’t he?
I wasn’t an endless pool of support and forgiveness, nor did I want to become one.
But an apology didn’t rewrite the past and it held no guarantees for the future.
“We both need someone strong by our side. Otherwise, I would have let the sorrow swallow you.” Shadows crowded his sparking eyes. “I never have nor will I ever see you like that. You think I don’t know you. I do. You’re more disappointed now than when I revealed the dagger because someone you care about got hurt.”
My breathing turned shallow.
