And I was going to give it.
“No, Princess.Weare going to give it.”His mental voice was confident in the decision, and I finally understood how my parents could stand there, looking at each other, choosing certain death. With Griff by my side, the end didn’t seem as scary.
I held on to the power, Griff’s hand grounding me as the light sought to draw me forward, into it. I started to lose myself, and Griff’s fingers dug into mine, hard enough to bruise. I was dimly aware of others around me, the battle sounds increasing, as I pummeled more and more power through, another spurt of colors in the sky, but never quite enough. I had to do this. The golden warmth of Griff was at my back, solid, unfaltering.
“Take mine.”The thought echoed faintly as that golden place inside sang.
I wove the streams of power together, molding and shaping it, searing the sky. It transformed, exploding outward in a column of pure-white light that split the sky itself.
Power thundered through, coming stronger now. The colors surged, joining and twisting together, flaring into a brilliant white light—a prism that drove upward, forming a dome over us, stretching as far as the eye could see, pushing against the Veil and sealing every hole with living light.
I gave one last push, knowing I had exhausted every power source I had access to, knowing that I had gone past the point of burnout and would soon be a husk of a body, not unlike the hufen. I squeezed Griff’s hand, a final goodbye as the light pulsed once, twice, and then exploded outward in a final burst that turned night to day, before my knees buckled and I fell.
Chapter
Forty-Four
I dream of a golden haze. Of a place where nothing hurts, where everything is at rest. I think it comes to me because it knows I’m headed there soon. I think it’s telling me everything will be okay. I just have to get through this first.
— From the journal of Violet Andrever
Iwas drifting in that golden haze. Golden dust defied gravity, floating upward and toward each other. The dust solidified briefly into first one figure, then three, then seven.
“You did well, my child,” the figure in gold said. I struggled to place the name, my mind fuzzy and unable to think clearly. “But it is not your time.”
A tall, lanky man in purple approached me. “You must return, child. So much is still undone.”
“Live, my daughter,” whispered a homely woman, dressed in green with dirt beneath her fingernails. Her sentence was echoed by every figure.
“We will meet again,” the woman in gold said. She gave a gentle push in my direction as a handsome man in red joined her.
As I spun away, the name finally came to me.
Solais.
I never hit the ground.I slowly came back to myself, roaring in my ears, to find that Griff had cushioned my fall. He grinned at me, holding me in his lap as all around, people started running toward me. My clothes were ruined, my hair a mess. I had never felt this weak before, burned from the inside out. But the crown was still a heavy weight upon my brow and the sun was visible in the sky again, illuminating the fallen, human and hufen alike.
The roaring in my ears grew. It was cheering.Victory, people were shouting. Celebrating the Veil being back in place.
I couldn’t join in the cheering as the sobering knowledge swept through me—our days were still numbered. The threat still existed, simply held at bay by something as fragile as a silk screen.
Those I loved were surrounding me. Griff behind me, holding me tightly. Finn on the ground at my side, looking dazed. Freya was climbing out of a hole in the castle walls, part of an army of healers going from person to person, checking them over. Andrei was over on the other side, doing the same thing. Zachariah leaned heavily against the wall, for once allowing himself to appear weak. His eyes were scanning the crowd—was it possible he was looking for me? Our eyes met and something flashed across his face that looked like satisfaction. He nodded, his lips curving in the first smile I could remember seeing on his face, before he turned away to answer a question. Kaia glanced at me, saluting before going back to clean up.
Saluting?
Oh right. I was the queen.
Fuck.
“It suits you.” Griff’s voice was tender as he brushed the back of his fingers over my cheek, staring at the crown. “I’m so proud of you, my queen.”
I looked up at Griff, his eyes a dark hazel green, love shining through them. I wished with all my might that I didn’t have to tell him this.
“It didn’t work,” I admitted softly in defeat. “I patched it, but couldn’t finish it entirely. I wasn’t strong enough.”
Maybe it would buy us another fifty years, but I doubted it. Not now that he knew I existed. That I knew about Starfire.
I realized now what Violet had known. It was never about the Veil. The Veil was a fantasy we’d told ourselves to keep the monster under the bed away. To keep the nightmares given form at bay.
