I was not going to think about the fact that I had just left my parents and Violet to their certain deaths. Deaths that I had all but suggested to them.
Griff kept me tucked into his side, supporting me as we headed out of the cavernous temple. And I realized just how weak I was. I walked on unsteady legs, only just now beginning to feel the scrapes and bruises from the battle. My power wells were drained significantly. But the worst part was the strange fuzziness in my head, the dizziness that made me lean heavily against Griff.
We climbed the stairs slowly. I must have been responding appropriately because Finn kept talking, but his words faded in and out, as other thoughts filtered through.
Griff’s hand at my waist was the only thing keeping me steady as we reached another landing.
Then between one step and the next, I wasn’t me anymore.
The staircase was the same, but the hand gripping the railing wasn’t mine. I smoothed my skirts. When had I put on a dress?
The voice that addressed me, filled with that particular brand of disappointed disdain I knew so well, called me a name that wasn’t my name.
Or was it?
The name was familiar; I knew it, but I didn’t think it was actually mine. My thoughts spun as I lost my sense of self, caught up in two identities. I pressed my hands to my temples, hoping that would somehow allow me to distinguish between real life and memory.
I lost control, my mind spinning in double time. As I crumbled to the ground, I heard a voice calling a different name. That wasmyname, right? My real name? That voice I knew. I would follow that voice anywhere. I reached my hand up, trying to find the owner of the voice, only to grasp at air.
With a shout of that name that I couldn’t quite be sure was mine ringing in my ears, I faded into nothingness.
Chapter
Thirty-Four
When you’re playing around with magic, powerful magic, it gets a vote.
—From the journal of Violet Andrever
Idrifted in a place between consciousness and dreams, caught in a whirlpool with no way to break free. It reminded me of when I had floated in the ocean, the waves jostling me around, except this time, there was no anchoring touch to keep me steady.
Images filtered through my mind. My childhood, running wild with Nana. And then, Nana younger, embracing me with open arms. Zachariah, also younger, face curled in disappointment as I struggled with my power. Wandering through wheat fields immediately into a cave. The images went on and on. Things I remembered. Things I didn’t but somehow belonged to me now.
Time had no meaning here, as I drifted and flowed around in space. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. Or longer. Gradually, my body shifted, as if someone had opened a path in the whirlpool, directing a current down a new path. The motion sped up and I was no longer in the gentle drift of ocean waves. This was a tempest that buffeted me in all directions until I couldn’t tell which way was up. The images flashed faster and faster, until I lost all sense of myself, watching someone else’s life flash before my eyes.
Everything was twisted, out of order. Two sets of memories,entwined. A purple haze settled over me, and I felt a shifting, an ordering in my mind, as though someone was sorting through the images and shoving them onto shelves in a library. They were no longer a jumble of memories, like someone had picked them up and thrown them into the wind to settle where they would. Now they were in order, with a definite line down the middle separating me fromher.
Lights flickered through my eyelids. Deep burgundy, darker than blood. Healing green. A constant gold, warming me from the inside out. Noises filtered in and out. Voices I thought I should recognize but couldn’t place. I couldn’t open my eyes or move my limbs.
A woman dressed in golden robes appeared. Her long, blonde hair was so pale it could have been spun from moonlight. And she had the most beautiful golden eyes, filled with eons of joy and sorrow. Looking at her felt like staring into the sun—beautiful, but almost too much to bear.
This could only be Solais, goddess of the soul.
Was I dead?
Her lips curved upward in a smile that didn’t reach her impossible eyes—eyes that pierced my soul. She opened her mouth to speak, but then his voice distracted me.
I turned blindly toward him, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Solais raise a hand in farewell.
I slowly came backto myself, pulled by something warm and golden pulsing in my chest. An invisible tether connected me to an outside source, reminding my heart to keep beating.
Gradually, sensations filtered in. The softness of the bed beneath me. The scent of healing herbs in the air. And most importantly, a warm hand clasping mine, our fingers threaded together. Someone was speaking in a low murmur, words I couldn’t quite hear, but the cadence was familiar. Comforting.
When I shifted, the murmuring stopped but the pressure on my hand increased, tightening almost painfully.
“Princess?” The voice was rough with exhaustion and hope.
“Griff,” I murmured, his name coming easier than my own. “You’re here?”
