“This is so fucked up.” Violet turned away, her voice breaking.She moved to the desk in the corner and busied herself with papers I doubted she could see beyond her tears.
“If you’re here looking for answers,” Mam said carefully, “that means it bought you time.”
“Time to grow up. Time to become strong.” Da’s voice was fierce with pride and pain. “Time to become the woman who would travel through time itself to save her people.”
They were talking about their own deaths as though it was a strategy discussion. As if choosing to die for their daughter was just the next in a series of tactical moves. But I could see my father’s white knuckles as he clenched his hands tightly together. The tears my mother kept blinking back.
Their casual acceptance wasn’t casual at all. It was the most brutal act of desperate love. And it broke something in me, a crack through my heart that I knew would never be repaired.
“Well, my darling,” Mam said, forcing a smile through her tears, “if I only have these few moments to impart a lifetime of wisdom… You have a mate?”
Violet turned from her desk where she had been scribbling something to see my reaction.
I nodded hesitantly, not having truly admitted it to myself. But what else could that be?
Despite everything, Mam’s smile became radiant. “I can feel it. It’s strong, even unaccepted. When the time comes, don’t hesitate. Don’t let fear or duty or anyone else’s expectations keep you from claiming what’s yours.” She looked at Da with so much love. “The bond will be your anchor through the dark times ahead. Trust in it. Trust your heart. It won’t lead you wrong.”
“And when the world tells you that love is a luxury you can’t afford,” Da added, covering both of our joined hands with his, “remember that love is what you’re fighting for.”
Mam looked over at my father, a sad smile lingering on her lips. “No matter what happens. Love is what makes every sacrificeworth it.”
He reached around me to grab her hand. “It was all worth it.” Turning back to me, his voice took on a sense of urgency. “You are loved. Every day of your life. Even when we weren’t there.”
“Especially when we weren’t there…” Mam trailed off, unable to continue.
Time was running out as I desperately soaked in their features. Memories flashed through my mind of all the lonely, painful, and happy times I’d wished I’d known my parents growing up.
A horn blasted in the darkness and I jumped. My parents shared a resigned, aching look. Even if I had just met them, I knew what that meant.
We were out of time.
“I am so sorry it’s come to this. That we will leave you alone. I love you, my darling girl.” Mam cupped my face one last time. “More than all the stars that should be shining in the sky.”
“I’m so proud of you,” Da added, his voice thick with emotion. “Give them hell, little one.”
I followed them to the tent flap to see sparks flying through the dark as more and more torches were lit, bonfires burning brightly and illuminating the scene that laid before us.
I almost wished for the darkness again. At least in the darkness I could imagine the scene wasn’t worse than all of my nightmares combined.
Thousands upon thousands of hufen stretched as far as I could see through the sooty air, spreading through the barren riverbed that in my time rushed with such force no one dared approach it. They moved as one, mindless automatons, listening only to the voice that drove them on, forward, up the mountain of Valdris.
This wasn’t a battle. It was a slaughter waiting to happen.
The numbers Finn had quoted from history books were echoes in my mind. Ten to one, maybe worse. We had sat right there, in the library, not a hundred meters away. The castle that in my lifetime was always lit, teeming with life, stood dark and empty. A silent sentinel to the fight thatwas upon us.
Hufen climbed the sheer cliff face, some of them falling, only to be replaced by a dozen more. They poured from the streets of the village below. The gates of Valdris had been closed, but the hufen were climbing over them and the rampart walls, driven by a single-minded focus to destroy.
Everywhere I looked, they were coming. Desperation emanated from the Serentyn army—my army. They knew this was the end. No rescue was coming. There was no one else left.
The only hope they had stood right next to me.
My parents pulled me into a three-way embrace—the first and last time we would hold each other as a family. I tried to memorize everything—Da’s strong arms, Mam’s softness, the sound of their heartbeats in my ears.
“I regret none of it,” my father said, his voice steady despite the chaos around us. “Every choice, every moment that brought us here. It was worth it to give you life.”
Mam nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead that felt like a blessing. “You are the greatest gift. To us. To the world.”
This was it. This was my one chance to say everything I’d never been able to say. But when I opened my mouth, no words came. How did you fit twenty-three years of missing someone into a single moment?
