Still breathing heavy from the exertion, I let myself notice for the first time how good he looked in his formal clothes. As with the Ignistar celebration, he had chosen to stick with black and white. His coat was cut at his waist, draping down to his mid-calves, matching tight pants tucked into formal boots, polished to a shine. I definitely hadn’t noticed how his broad shoulders filled out his coat. His vest, a black brocade, hid the muscles I knew were underneath. His crisp, white shirt was cut into a vee, some chest hair poking free. I squelched the urge to rub my nose in it.
He had tamed the front part of his sandy hair, the part that always fell over his forehead, and it was slicked back in thick waves. He had even shaved, a first since I’d met him, that strong jawline smooth and unmarked. I wanted to touch it, feel that smooth skin under my hand.
I moved toward him, unable to fight the pull that always dragged me to him. Every time we were together it was as if I was an untethered boat, adrift in the sea, and he was my anchor to land. I kept trying to push it away, but it kept rising up, stronger and more determined than before.
“How is this ever going to work?”
Shit, I had said that out loud.
“This?” He raised an eyebrow.
I had committed now. I gestured between us in some vague motion. “This. Whatever this is.”
My lungs couldn’t get enough breath, this time for a very different reason than the dancing. I stopped my wild gestures and rubbed my palms against my skirts, trying to get some of the sweat off. Maybe I had read it all wrong. But I had started talking and couldn’t stop. If I was going to fuck everything up, might as well get it over with.
“At least I thought there was athis. You’re constantly around, protecting me. You’ve slept in my damn bed every night for months, just to protect me from nightmares. You took me to your home, taught me to swim. You’ve toured me around Serentyn, showing me places of such beauty that have touched my soul. And sometimes when you look at me—” I stopped short as he was still staring at me with that unreadable expression. “You look at me like there’s athis. Or is it all in my head?”
“What do you want me to say, Princess?”
“I want you to say something real,” I cried, before I took a deep breath, trying to force my lungs to expand. “Maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe, as you said months ago, I’m just a duty. Maybe it’s what you told Finn—we’re just friends. Maybe it’s just you being the Champion, and I’m the princess, and that’s all it is. Maybe there isn’t athis.”
I whirled away from him, but he reached out and grabbed my hands to stop their wild motion. He kept me facing him as he stepped closer to me, trapping my hands in both of his. My heart fluttered as he kissed my fingertips and then placed them on his chest, over his heart. I swore I could feel his heart pounding as wildly as mine. That golden well, that thread of light, surged to life with his touch.
“You want something real?” His voice was rough, edged with more emotion than I’d ever heard from him. “Real is that every rational thought I have disappears the moment you’re in danger.Real is fighting every instinct I have to keep you safe and protected, when I know that would crush your independence. Real is watching you discover your power, come into your own, seeing you laugh with Finn, and biting my tongue becauseIwant to be the one who puts that light in your eyes. Real is lying to my brother, to my friends, to myself. Real is knowing that yes, there is athis.”
My breath caught. His eyes looked down on me with that burning gaze. The mask cracked entirely. Gone was the Champion. Gone was the warrior. In their place, there was just Griff.
My lips parted. His eyes dipped down to focus on my mouth, flaring with ravenous need. The hunger I had seen only glimpses of was etched into his face. Something warm spread from my stomach and moved lower. He released one of my hands to push a strand of hair behind my ear, then continued its path under the sheet of my hair to clasp the nape of my neck. My hand left his chest and drifted upward, finally giving in to the desire to brush that smooth cheek.
“Lexa…” He breathed my name as if it was the answer to every question he’d ever asked. As if it was the answer to all of life’s questions.
The rest of the world fell away. There were only his eyes, dark with want, and the warmth flooding through me that had nothing to do with the dancing or drinks. I arched toward him as his head lowered slowly, oh so slowly, toward mine.
The door clattered open behind me, and we sprang apart.
“Am I interrupting?” Freya asked brightly.
“Yes,” Griff growled out, never looking away from me. I fought the urge to lean back into him.
“Griff, did you apologize for whatever you did wrong?”
He finally tore his eyes from mine to glare at her. “What the fuck are you talking about, Tagalong?”
She smiled, her whole face lighting up. “Clearly Lexie would never do anything wrong, so whatever she was angry about must be your fault. But you need to get back. Finn has decided to match drinkfor drink with one of the stable hands, and as well as Finn can hold his liquor, that guy is twice his size.”
With a long, final, piercing stare at me, Griff strode away to go rescue his brother.
Freya’s shrewd gaze landed on me. “What was that about?”
I didn’t answer, just stared at where his back had disappeared. Had that actually just happened?
“I’ve never seen Griff like this before.” Freya’s eyes narrowed. “Are yousurethere isn’t anything you want to tell me?”
I tried to hide my blush, but I was certain it gave me away as I shook my head. There was so much I wanted to talk through with someone, but as close as Freya and I were becoming, I wasn’t sure she could keep a secret from the twins.
“Nothing,” I muttered, pissed at her for interrupting.
“Could ‘nothing’ have to do with Aine humping Griff in the middle of the revel upstairs and you being jealous about it?” She swished her dress playfully.
