When I was healed, and when we went to find Brialla and report Yeshar for attempting murder. When we returned to the Arc, and had to cross the gangplank above the miasma, and I had a panic attack. Until Yeshar was apprehended and escorted down to the brig by three other Voyagers. All the way back to the door of my cabin. Henrik didn’t leave.
“I barely heard you call for help back at the beach,” he admitted, scratching his stubble awkwardly. “If I hadn’t gone searching and seen your boot prints in the sand... I’m just glad I followed them.”
“Me too,” I hugged myself.
He shuffled in front of me. “It’s my fault,” he said at last, guilt twisting his features. “He thought you’d stolen his contact list.”
I shook my head. “Henrik–”
“No. Let me say this.” He drew in a deep breath. “I’m an asshole, but you’ve never done me wrong. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. It was just an impulsive decision to give you the box to try to get Yeshar off my trail, but that doesn’t–”
“This wasn’t about his contact list,” I interrupted, putting a hand on his shoulder. “He already knew it was in my room before today.” I paused. “I meant to ask you before, but things were…heated when we last spoke. Why didn’t you ask for the box back after Orin was expelled?”
Henrik shuffled his feet. “Yeshar sent me a pretty clear message before the end of the midterm.”
A memory surfaced of Henrik on a cot, covered in bandaged injuries after the midterm.
“He wanted his gold back, and I didn’t have nearly enough. And I didn’t have my collateral, or my leverage. And I realized that if he found out about the contact list I’d stolen, he’d do worse than just beat me. I thought he had no reason to suspect you had it. If I took it back and he found it in my room, he’d have had an excuse to finish the job.”
“In hindsight, it was dumb,” he said, scuffing the toe of his boot against the floor. “I really didn’t think he’d ever find it in your room. But he did.”
I processed the new information. He’d known my life would be in danger if Yeshar found the box, but he didn’t have any way to know Yeshar would discover it in my room. But he hadn’t trusted me with any of his knowledge.
Saving my life was his attempt to earn forgiveness. I wasn’t sure if I would have done what he did. He was trying to reassemble the broken pieces of our friendship without any adhesive, and the trust issues between us lingered and the pieces kept separating. “I can’t forgive you. Not yet. But I want to,” I said at last.
Henrik wore a torn expression. After a few seconds, he nodded.
“For now, Yeshar’s locked up,” I continued. “We’re beyond his reach.”
The words rang hollow. The Ascendancy would decide whether Yeshar continued to serve as a Voyager, went back to the Reformatory, or was returned to the Devourer. We had as much say in the matter as the breeze. And Yeshar still had a network of associates who he could send to kill us at any time.
Denial was more comforting than unbearable truth, though.
And deep down, I wanted to believe it.
Chapter 40
Maelstrom
The storm had barely died down when watch duty with Felixion started again. After filling up the Arc with Starshells, we’d only gone half a day’s journey back from Raevar. The sky was still an ominous wall of dark clouds. The storm wasn’t spent yet.
Much like the fragrance after a storm, miasma had a smell to it after rainfall. It was a sickly sweet odor that burned at the edges of my eyes and the interior of my nose. I squinted at the horizon to keep from tearing up.
The earlier downpour had agitated everything that lived in the miasma. Almost imperceptible shadows under the waves darted about, a bedlam of grim monstrosities.
Something formless and large had appeared in the distance two hours ago, and we had altered our course to steer further away from it, but it kept getting larger. We’d changed direction three times since then, to no avail.
It was following us.
And it was gaining.
Several of the crew had gathered on the main deck to see what was coming. Not that you could see much yet.
I held my spyglass up to get a better view of whatever it was, channeling Perception. Seeing anything was difficult in the gloomy lighting.
Whatever manner of creature it was, it was gargantuan. It might be more massive than the entire Arc. Its shape twisted and folded upon itself, like it was made of gas or viscous liquid.
And it didn’t match anything we’d covered in lessons.
