The Priest was winding down his ceremonial speech. More platitudes about tradition, values, and harmony.
Harmony is overrated.
“Let any objections to this union be known, or lay them to rest in the deep,” he intoned.
Showtime.
“I object!” A loud male voice cried, several gasps following in its wake as a low murmur went up from the audience.
Izaiah stood, his long formal shirt unbuttoned down to his navel for maximum dramatic effect. “Lisia is my one and only! My honey bunny! I’d rather die than let her marry this man!” He shoved an accusatory finger at Jessarian. A stunned silence blanketed the room, but only for the briefest moment.
“You lying cheating bastard!” Benji enunciated each word slowly as he rose from a few rows behind Izaiah, dressed in a flamboyant shirt covered in ribbons that made my dress look almost tame. “You said you loved me!” He held a hand over his heart, his eyebrows pinched together with his lips pouted out.
The door to the front of the chapel boomed open as Corra threw it wide. “Jessarian, am I nothing to you? You said you’d leave her for me! For our child!” Corra’s voice cut above the rising cacophony of mutters from the spectators. She was wearing what had to be her most risque dress, with a plunging neckline that almost reached the high hem at her thighs. Playing to her audience, she let her hand drift over her belly suggestively. I wondered if she was using her Beauty Skinscript, her silhouette was almost glowing against the sunlight from outside. She’d hidden it under a thick beaded bracelet.
I mashed my lips together, stifling my laughter. A noise which sounded like a snort came from near the buffet table. Zevrial was seconds away from breaking character. This was too good, had they rehearsed this?
“I don’t know this woman!” Jessarian burst out, raising his hands defensively in front of himself as if to ward off evil ashe stared at Corra. His shoulders squared, chin jutted out as his face turned ruddy purple.
Corra let out a distressed noise, raising a hand up to her trembling lips as if she was about to cry as she turned away. “How can you say that after everything we’ve been through?”
“What is the meaning of this?” Papa stood, gesturing around the chapel at large, fury muddying his complexion. The shock was starting to wear off, and he was mad.
That’s my cue.
I stepped forward, away from Jessarian. “I need to make a confession.” I raised my voice loud enough for everyone to hear. “I've been in love with the caterer this whole time.” Another round of gasps erupted, and Nessa made a sound of stifled laughter. Zevrial’s face was priceless. It had frozen somewhere between shocked disbelief and amused confusion. Dozens of heads swivelled in his direction now, even though he hadn’t catered this event. It was presumed guilt by his nearness to the buffet table.
That’s right, you’re part of this spectacle too.
I pressed on. “Really, it’s the mini quiches I love. They touched something deep in me. Jessarian, I’m sorry but I just can’t be with you when my heart already belongs to those crusty custards.”
Removing the engagement ring from my finger, I let it drop to the floor at his feet with a clatter. Jessarian’s eyes were saucers, jaw unhinged as he stared gobsmacked between me and the ring I’d dropped on the floor.
I threw my veil off, rushing toward the exit in a dramatic swirl of skirts before anyone had time to react. Damn this dress was cumbersome, I couldn’t move nearly fast enough. Every other step had me stumbling.
Zevrial caught up to me midway down the aisle, and then I was airborne. I clutched onto his shoulder with a gasp as hecarried me bridal style out the exit. His steps were airy and unhurried, as if I was weightless. It felt oddly freeing to be held with such ease. I didn’t want to let go.
He whispered in my ear. “Don't think this means you're forgiven for not telling me about your engagement.”
Izaiah, and Benji, rushed out behind us, arguing and fighting amongst themselves to continue the dramatic performance.
The Priest looked resigned.
Papa’s booming voice followed us out. “This is outrageous! I won’t stand fo–”
Corra slammed the main door shut, cutting off whatever he’d been about to say. She let out a delighted peal of laughter as we legged it out of there. We scrambled away, guffawing as we went.
“I can’t breathe,” Corra gasped, bent over as she tried to laugh and run simultaneously.
“Do you think we overdid it?” Benji asked, looking down at his shirt. Izaiah doubled up with another bout of hysterics, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.
“No, my love,” Izaiah planted a mocking kiss on Benji’s cheek. “You could never be too much for me.”
“Crusty custards?” Zevrial set me down after another minute of running, dark eyes sparkling with humor. Corra cracked up from beside us, holding his sides as she wheezed with laughter.
“Watch yourself, that’s my honey bunny,” Izaiah announced. Benji bellowed with renewed laughter.
“It was that or steamy scrambles,” I laughed, gripping armfuls of my skirt as we made our escape. We had minutes at most before someone inside the church thought to follow us.
