"That's actually a good thing," Lorcan says, and I feel him tap my head gently. "Yer still in there. She's still here. She's just… confused. Because the feedback loop got interrupted."
I pull back slightly, enough to look up at him. My face is wet. My eyes probably swollen. "What does that mean?"
"It means yer body is waitin' for consequences that aren't comin'. Ya broke the rules. Ya took the key. Ya left the dungeon. And in the system Giovanni built for ya, that should've resulted in punishment. Severe punishment. But instead—" He gestures vaguely around us. "Instead ya got kidnapped by an Irish idiot who put ya in his trunk and drove ya to Boston. Yer nervous system is screamin' at ya right now. It's sayin' 'where's the punishment? Where's the correction? Where's the structure that makes sense of what just happened?' And because it's not gettin' that—because the loop's open—you're spiralin'."
I wipe at my face with the back of my hand. "So what, I just… wait? Until it goes away?"
Lorcan's jaw tightens. His eyes flick away from mine, then back. "Not exactly."
Something in his tone makes my stomach flip.
"That was Giovanni on the phone," he says quietly. "Jino explained. Tellin' me that you need things now. Your brain has expectations. Like I just said. Corrections, punishments, ex cetra, ex cetra, ex cetra." He stops. Takes a breath. "They gave me instructions. Well, Jino did. He said… I should… take over."
My heart is suddenly pounding. "Takeover?"
"He explained how to care for ya while yer here." His hand is still in my hair, fingers gentle against my scalp. "Ya see, there's this big, complicated thing happenin' with the LaRiccia crime family because of Rico. I'm sure you understand that. It's part of the reason you were in the dungeon. Giovanni admitted that he killed Rico, so don't worry. Yer not givin' away no secrets. There is a plan to take care of the situation. To force Luca LaRiccia to accept that his son is dead and Giovanni had nothin' ta do with it. But it's gonna take a week, at least. Which means…"
"Which means I have to stayhere?" I hate that I kinda sob these words out. A whole week? Maybe longer? I really want to cry now. "I can't do it," I tell Lorcan. I can't. I need to see him. I need to see Giovanni. I need Jino to tell me what to do. I don't care how sad and pathetic that sounds, Ineed them."
He's petting me again. Like I'm some sad, abused animal. "Yes, ya do. Ya need them. But, unfortunately, I'm all you've got right now. Which means…"
He stops. I wait, try to. But I'm so on edge, I snap. "Which meanswhat?"
He takes a breath. Holds it. Releases it slowly through his nose. "They told me to punish ya," he says. "To close the feedback loop. So ya can regulate again."
My brain stutters. Stops. Restarts.
Punish me.
"Emmaleen." Lorcan's voice pulls me back. "Look at me."
I do. His gray eyes are serious. Concerned.
"I'm not gonna do anythin' ya don't want," he says. "I need ya to understand that. This isyourchoice. Not Giovanni's. Not mine.Yours."
My throat is so tight I can barely breathe.
"But if yadowant it—if ya think it might help—I can… I can give ya what yer body's askin' for. Close the loop. Let ya feel the consequences ya were expectin' so ya can move past this and think clearly again."
He pauses.
"Would ya like to be punished, Emmaleen?"
The question hangs in the air between us.
My brain immediately launches into defense mode.This is insane. You're sitting naked on the floor of a stranger's bedroom being offered discipline like it's aspirin for a headache. This is not normal. This is not healthy. This is?—
But my body is already responding.
Heat pooling low in my belly. Nipples tightening. That familiar ache between my legs that meansyes, please, finally.
"I—" My voice comes out wrong. Too breathy. I clear my throat. Try again. "I don't know if?—"
"Take yer time."
"It's just—would it even work? If it's not Giovanni doing it? Or Jino?"
Lorcan's thumb brushes along my jaw. "Don't know. But it's worth tryin', isn't it? Better than leavin' ya like this."
