"And release her," he adds.
"Well, yeah. Obviously."
"What about punishments?" he asks.
"She needs them," I say simply. "Don't skip corrections just because you're uncomfortable. That'll make it worse for her."
"And what if I lose control?" His voice drops lower. "What if I cross a line I shouldn't?"
"Then Ikillyou," I say flatly.
There's about three seconds of dead silence on the line.
Then we both laugh—dark, humorless sounds that fade quickly into the quiet.
"One week," I say, sobering. "That's all I'm asking. And you know me, Lorcan. I don't share. Not ever. Not with anyone."
"Right," he mutters. "So what the fuck are ya doing, then? Why is Jino even there in the first place?"
I hesitate, then decide honesty is the only play here. "Because… he keeps me in line. He… makes sure she gets her lessons. Her structure. Her aftercare. He makes sure she fails just enough to need correction. Then I come in every night to handle the punishments myself."
"How hard do ya go?" he asks carefully.
I blow out a breath, leaning back against the wall. "Depends on the night. Some nights, hard. Some nights, less so. But she likes it, Lorcan. I make damn sure she likes it. And I likeher. I really fucking like this girl. I want to keep her. Like… forever. She makes me happy in a way I didn't think I could ever be. I want to makeherhappy. I want her to get everything she needs,everything she wants. That's why Jino is here. I'm just not… capable of giving her that other stuff. The patient, methodical training part. I skip straight to the end every time."
Which is a very polite way of saying… I can't control myself.
It doesn't feel like weakness to admit it to Lorcan. It feels like… commiseration.
He's silent for a long stretch after that. Maybe three or four full minutes. Probably lost in his own mind, sifting through his own memories of what it feels like to hold that kind of power over someone.
I know I am.
Finally, he says quietly, "I don't want to make mistakes with her, Giovanni. I can't afford to."
"You won't," I insist, trying to sound more confident than I feel. "You'll be fine. I trust you. Hell, I haven't even let her blow me yet, Lorcan."
"Shut up," he says, and I can hear the disbelief in his voice. "That pouty little mouth of hers? And you haven't?—"
"It's driving me crazy," I admit. "And itwillhappen eventually. But… I'm going slow. Real slow. I don't want to make mistakes either, so I'm gonna train her properly first. I'm gonna let her get used to the way I like things done."
"Well," Lorcan says, and there's a hint of amusement creeping back into his tone. "Will you look at that. Giovanni Bavga actually has self-control."
"I'm trying," I mutter. "But it's… a struggle some days."
"I get it, brother. I do. But obviously, you've been into this lifestyle the whole time, haven't ya?" He exhales loudly. "Well, I had some things goin'. Some… interestin' times. But I'm not lyin' when I say I gave it up. I walked away clean a couple years ago. Which means I'm out of practice. I'm rusty as hell. I try not to think about it.Makemyself not think about it. And now… you're tellin' me to think about it, ya know?"
"Just… keep your hands off her throat," I say, my voice hardening slightly. "That's all you gotta do. If I can keep my dick out of her mouth for six weeks surely you can handle not choking her for one."
"Right," he finally says, letting out a long breath. "Tell me exactly what you want me to do."
12
I'm lying on Lorcan's bedroom floor in the Display position—back slightly arched, legs spread wide balanced on my pointed toes, arms above my head—staring at his ceiling and wondering if this is how people lose their minds.
Welcome to "Whose Breakdown Is It Anyway?"—the show where the rules are made up and my sanity doesn't matter! Today's prize: uncontrollable crying and a pussy that won't stop throbbing!
I can hear Lorcan downstairs, his voice low and urgent as he talks to someone on the phone. Probably Giovanni. Definitely Giovanni. My entire body aches toward that voice even though I can't make out the words, every nerve ending screamingKing King Kinglike some deranged chant I can't turn off.
