I'm cataloging this entire breakdown for later.
The accuracy of her assessment hits.
She sees us. Actuallyseesus—not the suits, not the power, not the carefully constructed personas we wear like armor.
And she's choosing to stay anyway.
"This is my gift to Emmaleen," I say, once again looking at Lorcan. "She needs romance. Softness. She needs to talk books with someone. And do I look like a man who reads that hack,Declan Cross? Fiction? It's beneath me and I'm not going to apologize for it."
I sigh. It's good natured, this offer. And genuine too.
But it's a little sad that I have to admit this shortfall. Because I could, possibly,try harder. I could…change.
But even if I did that, I'll never be Lorcan.
And she deserves a Lorcan in her life.
"If Emmaleen is willing," I continue, still talking to Lorcan, "to sacrifice her autonomy to please me, should I not be wiling to sacrifice my ego to please her?"
When I look over at Emmaleen, I find her on the verge of tears. "My king."
"You do," I tell her. "You deserve the whole world. I'll do anything to make sure you get it."
"So it's settled." Jino says. "But just so we're clear, if you play with breath, I'm there." He points at me. "That includes every fucking blow job."
I nod. "Agreed." then I look at Lorcan, waiting for his decision.
He takes a breath, looking at Emmaleen. "You're OK with this? If I bend ya over in the Prie-dieu, makin' ya recite prayers to my cock?"
"They're not really prayers to your cock, my Saint. They're a homage to your protection. But yes. Your weird kink lights me up."
It hits me now, just how far I've come since I met this crazy woman in the yellow cardigan.
She started as a game. A toy. A plaything.
But only minutes into the arrangement, she'd already won.
She stopped being a game the moment she rambled about Mercury retrograde affecting Starbucks' seasonal menu and I actually wanted to hear where the tangent was going.
She gave herself to me completely. Committed to everything I asked of her from day one.
I've killed for her once, and I'll do it again if I have to.
I'll burn this entire fucking world down to keep her safe.
I'll let my cousin edge her into subspace if it eases the cravings she has for submission.
I'll hand her over to the capable hands of my best friend it if means she gets to have a real romance.
And I'll chain that monster inside me to a fucking wall if it means I get to keep her forever, entwine it in all eight of my tentacles.
From predator to guardian.
From weapon to shield.
I chose love.
My chains, my choice.
