Chapter Nine
THERE WASa trick Cal had learned when he was a kid—when you couldn’t have what you wanted, don’t want it. In fact, if you could convince yourself you’dneverwanted it, even better. Then it didn’t hurt and no one could use it against you.
Cal had never wanted, not even for a wistful fucking moment, more than the occasional sweaty hookup with Joe. Never even entertained thethought.
“You are such a bastard.” Kristen flung the words at Joe. “You can’t ghost your fiancée, Joe. It’s not what happens. You owe me better than that. I deserve better than that.”
After the conversation with El on the bridge, Cal couldn’t resist a quick look at Edward. He didn’t know what he expected to see. Whatever Edward’s relations with Cal’s mum had been, it had been a long time ago,and Cal couldn’t imagine his mother as the love of anyone’s life. Either way, Edward’s face was as harsh and unreadable as ever.
“Why don’t we do this in private, Kristen,” Joe said. He waved a hand to the door. “The study is—”
“I remember. We stayed here before. And I have nothing to be ashamed about. If Mr.…” She paused expectantly and glanced past Joe at Cal. “Sorry, who are you?” she asked.
“Mr. Tate,” Joe said before Cal could open his mouth. “He’s my driver, and this isn’t anything to do with him.”
Kristen shrugged. “Fine.” She turned on her heel and stalked out of the kitchen. Joe lifted his chin, his neck stiff all the way down into his shoulders, and didn’t look around at Cal as he stepped over the purse on the floor and stalked out after her—not that Cal expected him to. Thiswas a familiar enough ride.
“Awkward, isn’t it,” Edward said as he stooped down to pick up the bag. “When you have to face reality. Joe and Kristen come from the same world. They share the same friends. They have the same bank. What do you have, Mr. Tate?”
Cal hoped the slow grin he gave Edward was as filthy as it felt. It must have come close, because Edward gave him a disgusted look as heput the bag on the table. To Cal’s surprise, Edward popped the clasp and stretched the mouth of the bag open. He peered inside as though there might be a trap in there and then dipped a hand in.
Cal crossed his arms. “Pro tip, Ed, petty theft works better if you don’t have witnesses.”
A humorless smile skimmed over Edward’s thin lips. “Who’d believe you?”
It was a good point. Cal watched Edwardsearch the bright purple Birkin bag for a moment and stack neat piles of half-wrapped candies, filched sugar packets, and loose vape cylinders on the table.
“Didn’t you look into her already?” he said. “Isn’t it always the ex?”
“She wasn’t the ex then.” Edwardtched in disapproval as he came up with a scratched bottle of pills and then tucked the bag under the table so he could sweep everythingback into it. “I only found out recently that she had… other reasons to be angry with Joe.”
“Like?”
Edward fastened the bag and hung it over the back of a chair. He gave Cal a sour, almost eager look. “I hate to disabuse you, but you weren’t Joe’s first dalliance.”
Cal snorted as he pushed himself off the counter. “And thank fuck for that.”
Was he supposed to care? No offense to virgins, butCal had never had the patience. He’d rather have someone who knew what they wanted and what they didn’t at the start of the night.
“I do not understand you,” Edward said as Cal walked past him. “This… thing… isn’t going to go anywhere. Even if he’s… not straight, Joe can do better than you. You aren’t his type. You’re a distraction.”
The jibe didn’t draw blood, but it hit the target. Probably,Cal thought sourly, because it was true.
“I never expected to be anything else,” Cal tossed back over his shoulder as he walked away. “Guys like us, Ed, we don’t end up at the altar.”
For a second, Edward didn’t say anything, and then a quiet, bitter “Go to hell” followed Cal to his room. It didn’t make Cal feel any better. Well, not much better.
He shoved the bear in a drawer and flopped downon the bed, arms folded over his head. It was harder to hang on to the “don’t give a damn” lie when you were alone. The tangled sheets and flattened pillows still smelled of sex and Joe’s cologne, and that didn’t help either.
Was this progress, Cal wondered, that he wasn’t only a feral idiot with his cock but with his heart too?
It didn’tfeellike it.
He lay there and listened to the soundof Kristen and Joe arguing as it drifted through the walls. When it got too much, he rolled off the bed, grabbed his phone, and headed down to the bar.
TWO DAYSof Kristen had worn the sheen off Cal’s brief infatuation. It was hard to pretend there was anything real happening when the evidence that there wasn’t stamped around in expensive shoes and demanded answers. The relationship showedno sign it was about to be resurrected, but that wasn’t the point. Kristen didn’t know why Joe had broken up with her when all Joe wanted a bit of rough in his bed before he went back to his real life. Fair enough. It wasn’t as though he’d promised anything else.
Cal sat in the greasy spoon a few streets back from St. Pancras and brooded out the window while he waited for his breakfast to arrive.A homeless man huddled in a sleeping bag in the chained-up doorway of an abandoned travel agent opposite, his hands wrapped around a bottle of gin as though there were any warmth in the drink. On her way past. a woman with her heels in a plastic bag over her shoulder and sensible trainers on her feet tossed a handful of coins into the cup in front of him.
