“Well, as you might already know, I knew your mother a long time ago. I loved her.” His voice sound rusty, like he also hasn’t gotten enough sleep the last few nights. “I wanted to marry her, actually, but everyone said we were too young.”
He lets this revelation wash over me, pausing for dramatic effect. I consider acting surprised, but this is old news. I nod, gesturing for him to continue.
“So I went back to the academy, heartbroken.”
I nod again, encouraging him to go on. I know this part of the story. “And then what?”
“I tried to move on with other women.” He coughs uncomfortably, glances at me. “But I could never stop thinking about Rose. Seven years later, I looked her up again.”
This part is new. Rose didn’t mention ever seeing him again.
“I was done with service, beginning my company. I tried looking her up in the phone book but I couldn’t find a Rose Elliot anywhere. Out of desperation, I asked Lottie. You see, I still knew where she lived, so I came to the island and paid her a visit. She told me Rose was engaged to a man named James Gardner, your father.” Thomas clears his throat again.
He exhales. I can’t believe how much my mom hasn’t told me.
“So, what happened next?”
“I was too late.” Thomas smiles a sad smile. “She was pregnant.”
I can feel my mouth slacken with surprise. I’ve often wondered why Rose was with my father in the first place if she didn’t seem to love him. Now I know the reason.
It’s all my fault.
The path has begun to narrow. We are entering the cliff side. The thin dirt weaves through the trees and bushes of Baxter Road, once one of the most expensive streets on the island. In recent years, the mansions have begun to fall into the ocean as the face of the cliff erodes.
These days, everyone is moving their houses to lots on the other side of the street to buy themselves a few more good years. This is the great dichotomy of the island in action: the constant battle between the unruly natural environment and the residents’ relentless efforts to reshape and control it.
“I don’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry. I feel terrible if I’ve overstepped, but I want you to know the full story.”
The hedges here have grown together to create a pathway above us like a tunnel. Enveloped in their leaves, it is dark and quiet like a church. By the bend, there are brightly colored rocks, hand-painted by children. A few of the stones have carved dates and initials on them, some more than thirty years old.
“I always loved these,” says Thomas from behind me.
I spin to face him. “You’ve been here?”
He looks sheepish. “Of course,” he says. “I spent that summer here when I met your mother.”
“Why did you lie then?”
“I’m sorry for deceiving you. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.”
Something clicks for me. “You didn’t rent the cottage by accident, did you?”
Thomas shakes his head. “I did, actually. It was a gift from my sister, Rachel. But I’m starting to suspect that Rachel knew the truth.”
“Why would she do that?”
He kicks the dirt. “My wife passed five years ago. I met her after I found out Rose was engaged. A year later, we were married. And then…” He goes quiet.
“And then what?”
“Never mind,” he says. “We built a wonderful life together. I have no regrets. We had two girls together. My eldest lives in Colorado. My youngest is in college in Michigan. I sold my company a few years back, and now I have too much free time on my hands. I think Rachel worries I’m lonely. Plus.” He smiles. “She always loved a setup.”
I recognize the grief in his eyes—the splinters in his eyes like cobwebs. “I’m sorry,” I say. “About your wife.”
“Thank you,” he says simply.
“So that’s why you wear your wedding band still,” I realize in a quiet voice.
