“But she’s starred in almost all Zach’s movies,” I point out. And how does she not like Kevin? He’s Zach’sbrother.
“For the acting experience and because she respects his work ethic when it comes to movies. She actually said that.” Raj shakes his head. “She hatesDungeon World 2,the smell of Indian food, and puppies.”
“Puppies?” I repeat, incredulous.
“Fine, not the last thing.”
Now I’m frowning, leaning forward on the counter. “Then…what did Zach ever see in her?”
I’m expecting him to say that only God knows, but Raj sighs. “It’s not like she’s a bad person. She just doesn’t give things a chance. She’s very quick to form an opinion, and then she doesn’t change it.” I suddenly remember what Zach said at Schiavoni’s. That he liked that I tried new things, that I hadn’t made up my mind about every single thing. Unlike Lindsay?
“And then she’s also convinced she’s just a little bit better, more mature, than everyone else. She thinkswe’rebad influences on Zach, when—for the record—she smoked all the time with him.”
“Lindsay smokes?” I don’t know why this shocks me.
Raj nods. “Where there’s smoke, there’s Lindsay. She thinks it’s sophisticated or something. And she likes that it makes her voice raspy.”
“Wow.”
Before I can ask more, Zach reappears. “They’re coming to upgrade our systems next week. Dad finally put together enough money to make the jump.”
Zach pulls up a few more movies he’s thinking about ordering and reads out their synopses. After a few minutes, Raj heaves a heavy sigh and asks if he can open a bag of cotton candy.
While he goes to grab it, Zach leans toward me and kisses the flap of my earlobe. Every inch of my body tickles.
“Stop.” I writhe, giggling.
“Do you know you tug at your ears when you’re feeling shy?” he whispers. I didn’t, but it’s because they constantly heat up when anything remotely exciting happens. Katy thinks it’s a condition.
They warm when I’m angry or embarrassed.When you look at me,I think.When you touch me.
I think now about what Raj just told me, and I wonder whether I make Zach forget her—Lindsay. And whether I like or hate that.
But what I say is, “You’re the first person ever to notice that.”
BEFORE
August
We hang out almost every day, before Zach works and after I’m done practicing. So that I don’t completely neglect my viola, I implement a rule for myself wherein I am not allowed to see Zach unless I’ve practiced for at least an hour that day. We make a point of doing the sorts of mundane things people who are not obsessive cinephiles and viola players would do and tell great tales of. Summer things and outdoor things.
I introduce Zach to the strawberry-kiwi milk shakes—the Oreo pieces sprinkled in are the key—that Shake Attack only makes in the summer and Zach quickly falls victim to my addiction. We go there roughly five times a week. One time twice in one day.
We play Bigger and Better in At Home Movies when I visit Zach at work. Somehow Ciano always comes out on top, which is the best evidence I have that the game is deeply flawed and rigged.
We have a picnic on the grass by Bentley Lake, though it is a little bit traumatizing because these white and gray birds keep swooping down a few feet away from us, begging for crumbs. They never actually get within a foot of our basket, but that doesn’t stop both me and Zach from ducking our heads and yelling whenever one dive-bombs out of the sky and lands not that far from our picnic blanket.
“Okay,” Zach says, “they’re just birds. It’s fine. They’re not even getting that close.”
“So it’s fine for them to just sit there and stare us down while we eat?”
“Should I give them a piece of my sandwich?” Zach asks.
“No! What if they all swoop down for it? Or that gives them the courage to come closer? Let’s just try to ignore them.”
Which is impossible to do on account of the fact that they make quite the entrance when they land one by one and then theyalljust sit there, watching us threateningly. Soon seven are clustered on the grass to the left of us.
“Oh God, I’m breaking, Addie. I might have to give the closest one a cracker, just to leave us alone,” Zach says.
