“What, that it was temporary?”
It’s almost like I can see him fidget, three thousand miles away. “To be honest, yeah. I thought this was a temporary escape, not a permanent life change. And then all the stuff with Lachlan, I’m sorry, but I assumed that once his wife came back…”
“I’m not staying here for him, Josh. Have you considered that I might actually be good at this job? That I might have meant what I said about building something for myself? That I might have a future here, even if Lachlan drops dead tomorrow?”
“I’m sure you’re good at it. That’s not what I meant.”
“And his wife hasn’t come back, by the way.” Okay, sotechnicallythat’s a lie, but the birthday visit doesn’t count as her coming back for good, and since my whole life is governed by inane legal bureaucracy right now, what’s one more technicality? “She’s not going to come back. It’s over between them.”
His sharp tone returns. “Oh, so you’ve talked about it?”
“No, but he almost called off the wedding before they even got married. And there’s this law in Scotland where they have to be separated for a year—”
Josh cuts me off. “That’s just great, Abby, because we all know about your deep and abiding reverence for Scottish law. So glad you can rely on that rather than have a difficult conversation with a man who’s supposedly your best friend.”
“I don’t need to have a difficult conversation with him. This is what’s happening. Day 365 he divorces her, Day 366 we’re together.”
“How do you know that’s the plan? How do youknowthey’re not trying to work things out when you’ve still never actually discussed it?”
I am aware my voice is rising to the level of histrionics, but Ican’t help myself. “Because…because I just do. That’s just how it is between the two of us. There’s an understanding.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. It’s bullshit!”
“I don’t get why you’re pissed. Isn’t this what you’ve been telling me to do my whole fucking life? Lean in and actively go for the things I want? Stop apologizing and tiptoeing around everything and everyone?”
“Not with a married man. Not with your first relationship after Steven. Not with a situation that could get you fired and deported if it goes south, which it so clearly will.”
“Your confidence in my decision-making is touching.”
“For fuck’s sake, take this seriously.”
“No,youtake it seriously, because it’s happening. This is my life. This is how it’s going to play out. And if you don’t like it, whatever—I’m not going to stop. I know what I’m doing.”
When he speaks, his voice is bone-chilling. “Fine. But don’t come crying to me when it all goes wrong, because I won’t hold your hand through another heartbreak that could have been avoided if you weren’t too scared to have a difficult conversation.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t!” I scream into the phone and slam the receiver down.
It is this moment that Charlotte opens my office door. “Sorry,” she says. “I heard screaming, which I’m sure you’re aware is completely inappropriate for the workplace, even for an American.”
Fuck.
“I’m sorry, Charlotte. I have no excuse, and it won’t happen again. But it wasn’t a work call, so at least there’s that.”
She purses her lips and I brace myself for a lecture or worse, but maybe she can see the genuine misery on my face, because she just shakes her head. “Shame. I’ve always longed to have a go at the Nike reps.”
I honestly can’t tell if she’s joking—I suppose there’s a first time for everything, after all—so I just sort of make a chuckle-adjacent noise and hope that will suffice.
Charlotte pulls out the chair opposite my desk and takes a seat. She looks me up and down like a cyborg analyzing a target, a calculating and detached gaze. “I wanted to stop by to say thank you for taking my feedback to heart these last few months and pulling back a bit on the videos. I appreciate that your personal situation is…” There’s a pause as exquisite as her tailoring. “…complicated, and as I said, I’m not interested in telling you how to run your social life. But I am grateful you haven’t let it affect your work, and I’m very satisfied with the content you’ve been producing.”
I can’t ask her what she knows, what she’s heard, no matter how much I want to. She must take my silence as understanding, because she continues. “I hope you had an enjoyable time during the World Cup and that you’re ready to set aside these personal issues and return your focus to the whole squad.”
It’s like she’s speaking in code, so I send an encrypted message back to her. “Are there any players in particular that need my focus?”
“You’ll have the best understanding of that, of course, but I would say it’s never a good thing to neglect the team captain. Matt Fletcher’s theories are often wild, but I would hate for them to be proven right.” She raises a brow.
Wow, so that fucker actually did say something to her. I can’t believe it.
I’m sure my face is white as a sheet, but I can’t let on that I’m rattled. Doing so would confirm that whatever Matt said was right. I take it as a good sign that she hasn’t come in here to fire me, but I’m certainly not going to give her any additional ammo.I force a smile. “Thank you, Charlotte. I really appreciate your feedback. And I’m sorry for the yelling.”
