“I don’t have an apartment in LA,” I blurt out. “I mean, I did—but I gave it up right before I came home.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Gonna be pretty tough to host Mary Moore, then.”
I let out a groan. “I don’t know why I let her rile me up.”
“So… are you thinking of leaving the city?” Nate asks. His face is totally neutral.
“No,” I insist. “I do really like it there.”
“I heard youloooooveit there,” he says mimicking me. “It’s so energizing!”
I swat at him. “I’m just… taking a beat. To figure out my next move.”
“Seems… sensible,” he says. We’ve reached The Second Shop. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to your pot shopping.”
“Vase shopping.”
“Whatever.”
I smile and start to walk toward the thrift store.
“Wait,” Nate says, spinning me back to face him. I flush at the feeling of his hands on my waist. “It’s your birthday soon?”
“On the eleventh,” I confirm. “Oh, and that was a dig, too, by the way.”
“Wishing you a happy birthday?” Nate looks like he’s trying to decipher the behaviors and rituals of a rare species.
“It was her way of rubbing it in that I’m almost thirty and still single.”
“The horror,” Nate deadpans. “Marriage is for conformists and reckless fools anyway.”
I laugh, but this one’s less genuine. He may not consider himself marriage material, but I like to think that I could be.
“Do you really think that?” I ask him.
Nate shrugs, his expression growing more serious. “I thought I was going to get married once, actually. Came pretty damn close to it. But all that came shattering down. Pretty tough to give credence to it anymore.”
I remember that first night on the dock. How he’d drawn inward on himself when we talked about the pain of being blindsided.
“Came pretty close? Were—were you engaged?” The thought seems intriguing, shocking. Maybe even a little threatening. It doesn’t fit this lazy, carefree attitude he seems to have.
“Nah. Thought it was serious, but you know, couldn’t’ve beenthatserious for Sarah since she was banging her grad school TA behind my back.”
I wince. “Ouch.”
Nate shrugs. “It’s in the past. Where I’d like to keep it. And all thoughts of marriage, for that matter.”
“Noted.” I nod, though a mysterious disappointment swells in my throat. Almost like I’m disappointed for him. Lord knows I’ve been through my fair share of relationship bullshit, and I’ve gotten cynical because of it too.
But I guess, unlike Nate, there’s still a part of me holding out hope.
“And speaking of marriage, don’t worry so much about Cara and Cooper,” he says. “Once they realize what they’re getting into, I don’t think it’ll take too much for them to back off from this whole horrible idea. In fact, I’m gonna talk to Cara about it again tonight. See if I can talk sense into her for real this time. I’m sure we’ll be out of your hair and on our way back home before you know it.”
I force another soft smile. “Right. Yeah.”
With that, he waves and heads back to the truck. And I’m left with a hollow ache at the thought of him gone.
14
