“I fly back tomorrow afternoon, so maybe you could come over tomorrow night?” I hate the uncertainty that’s crept into my voice. It’s like this perfect bubble Jamie and I have been floating in since last night is now drifting toward a field of pushpins. At any second, we could pop.
“Count on it,” Jamie says, squeezing my hand.
“Well, um… Safe travels.”Safe travels?Am I signing off a business email? Jamie presses a kiss to my forehead. I watch him make his way down the hall. I blink, trying to hold back the tears. When he gets to the elevator, he turns back and offers me a half-hearted wave. I wave back, and once he disappears, let myself sink to the floor.
23
ITHINK ABOUT CRAWLING RIGHT BACK INTO BED AND SPENDING THE RESTof the day replaying the last few hours between me and Jamie, but I’ve got too much to do. First, I manage to reach the local hospital by phone and learn that Seb is recovering fine and will be discharged back to the hotel shortly. Another huge weight lifts off me. In the meantime, I throw on a simple black bikini and return to the beach. By now it is mostly cleaned of debris from the storm but it’s still a little quieter than usual, the sand cold and compact beneath my feet. Behind me, a couple hotel employees are opening sun umbrellas over the white-and-green–striped chairs where guests are having lunch. I pull out my phone and think about gathering more content for Flowies, but after everything that’s happened, I feel a stronger urge to just stay in the present. So instead of shooting a quick video, I FaceTime Willow.
“Bill!” she answers, and Nora’s chubby face pops into view beneath her chin. Nora lets out a delighted gurgle and reachesfor the phone, but I get a glimpse of the ceiling fan as Willow maneuvers to keep the phone out of her grip. Her face fills the screen again. “I’m back.”
“I slept with Jamie,” I say without preamble.
Willow freezes. “Let me patch in Emma and Nikki, okay?”
I should have known Willow would send for reinforcements. There are a few moments while I wait for everyone’s face to appear on the screen, and then Willow says, “Start over.”
I tell them everything while pacing the beach—the fake boyfriend, Seb’s shocking arrival, the chaotic storm, Jamie’s unexpected rescue—and laugh as the girls gasp at various twists in the tale.
“We left things on good terms,” I conclude. “We’re going to try again. And I’m… happy. But also, if I’m being honest, I feel kind of terrified?”
“You’d be crazy if youweren’tscared,” Emma says. “Trust me on this, I know.”
I smile a little, thinking of Emma and Finn and how they found their way back to each other after years of false starts. If they can have a second chance at love, maybe Jamie and I can too.
“Yeah, it’s just…” My voice catches in my throat as I try to explain to them. “We talked about finally leaving the past behind us. But… have I really changed enough to deserve his love this time?”
Emma sucks in a breath, and when she finally speaks, it’s so intense, she sounds almost like a stern teacher telling me I’m in trouble. “Sybil Rain. I need you to hear me on this. He did not decide to get back together with you because he thinks you’re some new Sybil 2.0 who is suddenly responsibleand stable enough to earn his love. Besides, that’s not how love works anyway.”
I know she’s right. Jamie said as much last night—that he was never looking for me to change or be someone I’m not. But some uncertainty must still register on my face because Willow jumps in.
“Emma’s right,” she says. “I know you’ve both had issues with trust in the past, but it sounds like you’re working through that—being more open with each other so there are no more doubts. Butlove? Jamie’s mind never had to be changed about that. The only person who needs to be convinced that you are worthy of a great love, Sybil, is you.”
Well, crap.I hadn’t meant to start crying, but here we are. But still, I press on. “But… he’s headed straight from the airport to a Kauffman Group board meeting, and we all know how much they love me. What if his family talks him out of it again?” I try not to let my voice tremble, to betray how much this fear still has a grip on me.
Nikki clears her throat, and I realize that up until now, she’s been uncharacteristically quiet through this call. “Sybil. I have to tell you something.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say she sounds… guilty. “Okay.”
“I knew that Jamie was going to be at Halia Falls this week.”
“Wait—what?”
“His sister told me about how he was going to be taking a trip down for his new wine business.” Emma’s mouth has dropped open, but Nikki keeps going. “Which is why when your ticket vouchers were running out… I pushed you to stay at Halia Falls too.”
“Nikki!” I almost trip on a piece of driftwood.
“You’ve been doing so well, but you haven’t been with anyone since the wedding. Jamie’s also been in a huge rut, apparently. Amelia said he’s been miserable. ‘Like a shell of a person,’ she said. And I guess I thought there might still be something there between y’all. It always seemed like y’all were endgame.” Nikki’s accent has begun to deepen, as it does whenever she’s under pressure.
Emma’s voice is soft with awe. “Nikki, you’re a master-mind.”
“What the hell were you doing talking to Amelia?” I ask, still trying to process this. The whole thing was… a setup? I’m not sure whether to be amused or humiliated.
“She’s a bigLovedByfan. We met at the wedding, and she’s been DMing me,” Nikki says, and in any other scenario this would be a golden nugget of information I would cherish forever: Miss Hoity-Toity District Court Judge loves reality TV just like the rest of us. “I’m sorry, Sybs. I shouldn’t have played matchmaker behind your back like that.”
“Well, I guess I can’t hate you for wanting what’s best for me,” I admit, my initial shock giving way to something more tender. The idea not just that my friends were concerned about me after the breakup, but that Amelia could see what a toll it had taken on Jamie. That’s what really gets me.
“I just hope it all works out,” Nikki says, chewing on her lip. “Can you blame me for wanting a happy ending for you?”
