Meredith always says our brand needs to reflect authenticity… let’s hope she means it. Because I basically just spilled my guts to our ninety-five-thousand followers. Though the only followers who will have any idea whatthingfrom my past is popping up are Nikki, Willow, and Emma.
While I’m still holding my phone, a text comes in from Nikki.
Updates?
I had filled her in on my rain-soaked hike with Jamie when I got back to my room last night. How angry he’d been… even when he was carrying me in his arms after I hurt my ankle. She’d been quick to say that maybe beneath the anger was lingering hurt—on both sides. But what did Jamie have to be hurt about? He’d wanted an out, and I’d given it to him. Now he’s moved on and he has Genevieve, the kind of woman his family probably adores. What’s left to be mad about, really? Nikki’s response gutted me. All she wrote back was:you guys loved each other. It hurts when there’s that much love lost.After that, I silenced my notifications and went to bed.
No sightings today, I tell her now.#Blessed
Nikki sends back a praying hands emoji which I “heart.”
Just remind me never to get engaged again unless it sticks. I can’t have another ex-fiancé roaming the earth hating me. I already have three.
Oh Sybs, she writes back.None of them hate you. Especially not Jamie. I bet all three of them will always love you. Everybody loves you, Sybil.Six heart emojis.
I swallow, thinking of what I overheard Jamie say on the boat yesterday.Everybody loves Sybil.Like it’s a slogan for a TV series. Everyone loves theperformanceof Sybil Rain. That’s because I put on a great fucking show. But the guys who get close enough to actually know the real me? Every single one of them is disappointed in the end.
9
THAT’S IT.ICAN’T WALLOW IN MY ROOM ANYMORE.I’M STARVING AND, TObe honest, I could use one of those strong cocktails I helped serve up yesterday. When I get to the beach tiki bar, I spot the same bartender from yesterday wiping down the driftwood bar top. I wave at her, and she raises a glass at me in question. I nod.
The bar is quiet, with only a few patrons sipping predinner cocktails. There are cozy groupings of rattan chairs ringing the bar and even a hammock strung between two posts. A gentle breeze drifts in from the bay, making me shiver.
Dani greets me as I slide onto one of the barstools. “Hey! Sybil, right?” I nod. “Thanks for helping me out yesterday.”
“It was no big deal.”
“Itwasa big deal,” Dani insists. “We’re down one third of last year’s staff, and we’re almost fully booked. Which is great for this time of year, but…” She rolls her eyes and then brightens. “Oh, hey—how was snorkeling?”
“It was… fun!Sofun!” There’s no point in telling Dani about my run-in with Jamie after she was nice enough to get me a last-minute spot on the boat. She couldn’t have known that she was sending me straight toward the one person I was trying to avoid.
Dani places a glass of water on a dark green cocktail napkin in front of me. I hadn’t realized how thirsty I was. The various spa treatments must have left me a little dehydrated. I immediately down half the glass.
“Any suggestions for an excursion I can do tomorrow?” I ask her once I’ve swallowed. I don’t want to lose another day hiding inside.
Dani considers, leaning on the back bar and folding her arms. “The horseback riding is pretty amazing. You go on this path through the mountains to a gorgeous waterfall. Our friend Kaia leads it—she’s great.”
“Sounds awesome! I love horseback riding!”
In truth, my experience with horses has been pretty limited—a few birthday parties when I was growing up back in Dallas, plus a tour of the stables at the Kauffmans’ Napa house, which turned into a literal romp in the hay.
I can feel myself blushing as Dani pulls out her order pad and asks me, “Do you know what you’d like to eat?”
The menu here is fantastic, and I’ve been eating healthier meals than I usually do at home—but I’m suddenly craving a heaping basket of mankind’s greatest triumph over nature: chicken frickin’ nuggets. All this dwelling on the past has me wanting comfort food, I guess.
“Do y’all have chicken tenders?”
“I’m sure we can make something like that happen,” she says, doing me the decency not to look aghast at my request.
“Thank you! You are a goddess.”
“You got it,” Dani says as she tops up my glass of water.
“Also, could I grab some ice?”
Dani gives me a look. “There’s ice in the water.”
“No, sorry, for my ankle. I twisted it yesterday, and it’s still a little sore.” The spa treatment temporarily numbed out the pain, but it’s creeping back in now.
