“Emma, don’t be difficult. Please just help for once.”
I want to shout back,All I do is help! I help you. I help Liz. I help Sybil. There’s never anyone who helps me, but my mouth feels like it’s stuffed with cotton.
I charge through the kitchen and open the door to the backyard, only to find myself stepping into the spa at the Del, but there’s still no Sybil. In the middle of the room is a massage table, and I realize Sybil and I had plans to get massagestoday, so I lie facedown on the table and let myself relax. A masseuse comes in, and the smell of lavender and woodsmoke fills the air as strong hands begin kneading up my back. All of the stress I’ve felt fades away, and I feel… safe. I exhale and let myself sink into the table.
Strong fingers press up and down my spine, then move to dig into the muscles beneath my shoulder blades. A low voice rumbles above me. “How’s the pressure?” It’s Finn. Excited anticipation coils in my chest, like a thousand hummingbirds fluttering in my stomach. “Turn over,” Finn says. I obey, wondering when he’ll realize it’s me.
He begins by massaging the arches of my feet, but eventually his hands move from my feet to cup my calves and glide to behind my knees. Even lying down I can feel them weakening. As my heart races, I don’t resist. I’m still covered by the sheet, but beneath it, my legs quiver as his thumbs begin to drift higher up my legs.
“Is there any other tension I can help relieve, Emma?”
His voice is some kind of permission for me to shift, allowing the sheet to drift further off one knee. Gradually, I reach down and begin to pull the sheet, inch by inch, up my body as his hands continue their journey…
A moan jerks me awake, and I realize to my eternal horror that it’s my own.
My head is wedged between the seat and the car door. “Oh my god.” I blink into the light, hoping that Finn attributes the red burning across my face and chest to sunburn—not complete mortification.
But seeing the look on his face does nothing to ease mymind. He’s smiling so wide, I’m positive I must have narrated the entire sex dream out loud in my sleep.
He trains his eyes back on the road, betraying nothing, but I can detect a hint of smug laughter in his voice as he asks, “Nice nap?”
And now, I’m officially dead forever.
11
THURSDAY EVENING
(Two days before the wedding)
MY BODY IS STILLvibrating from the dream, and I’m sure that Finn can read the lust pulsing from my face. Napping was the absolute worst decision I could have made.
“That position didn’t look super comfortable,” Finn goes on, and I can’t tell if he’s being sincere or hinting at more, “but I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Um, thanks.”
“Maybe y’all can still get your massages tomorrow when we’re back at the hotel.”
The wordmassagejust about murders the last shred of dignity I have. The only thing keeping me tethered to this life is that Finn must have thought I was moaning in pain.
I cross and uncross my legs and curl up against my side of the car as we continue past a field of windmills. The clear blue sky against the dusty brown of the mountains should soothe me, but it just reminds me of how I’ve lived like a cave dweller in New York, tucked away in either my office or my fourth-floor walk-up. I guess Sybil, even when she’s on the run, is the only one who can get me outside trying something new.
For the past four hours, we’ve been mostly driving through a barren landscape, but now little signs of civilization have begun to crop up—a gas station, a pawnshop.
Which is good, because I’m definitely due for a pit stop. I need to stretch my legs, to shake off the lingering awkwardness from my dream. “Can we pull over for a bathroom break?” I ask Finn.
“Sure,” he says. “Looks like there’s a diner up ahead. We can stop there.”
But when we pull into the parking lot, it’s suddenly clear that this is no diner.
“Oh my god.”
A large sign flashesINTERGALACTIC EMPORIUMin praying-mantis green.
An almost reverent look of awe comes over Finn’s face—like he’s never seen something so unabashedly tacky in his whole life. “What in the world…”
“No, no, Finn. I think what you mean isout of this world.” A cheesy grin has overtaken my own face. “Come on. I’ll be quick, I swear.”
Finn pulls his eyes away from the neon monstrosity and meets my gaze, the corners up his mouth tipping up ever so slightly.
