“Oh, come on, like an old movie stub?”
“None of your business.”
“Okay, okay,” he says, hands up in surrender. As the valet brings the car around in front of us, Finn’s tone changes.
“You know, it really seems like Sybil doesn’t want to be found,” he says softly.
“There are a lot of instances where what Sybil wants is not what Sybil really needs,” I say, finishing up the sandwich and reaching into the to-go bag to pull out a piece of fruit. I’m already starting to feel more like myself.
“Emma, I think we should go back to Malibu. This isSybil’s life. She has to make the call about whether or not she wants to marry Jamie.”
“We can be in Las Vegas by dinnertime, grab Sybil, and then be back at the hotel by midnight.” The valet pulls the Singer up right beside us.
“Doesn’t that mean we miss the welcome party?” Finn says as he opens the passenger door for me.
“Who cares about the welcome party if there isn’t a bride?” I ask.
“Answering a question with a question. A pretty weak rhetorical move there, Ms. Townsend.” Finn rummages around in the back and comes up with a couple of towels that he spreads across our seats before I climb in.
“To be, or not to be…” I hold my uneaten orange in my outstretched palm like a Shakespearean skull. Finn lets out a laugh. It sends a jolt right to my heart, and suddenly it’s like the past eleven years haven’t happened. We’re just Finn and Emma, playing truth or dare in the back of the bus on our way home from state, right on the edge of everything that we could be.
Finn goes around to the driver’s seat and hesitates as he puts the key into the ignition. I can tell he’s waffling. If I can just get him on my side, he’ll see that we’re the ones who have to bring Sybil home. We know Sybil better than anyone. Thetwoof us. I’m grudgingly coming around to accepting the fact that Finn knows sides to Sybil that I don’t. I need him with me on this mission. “What if I made a bet with you?”
“What kind of bet?” He looks over at me warily as he buckles his seat belt.
“We go to Vegas. You and me. If Sybil doesn’t agree to come back with us—you win. But if shedoes, then I win.”
“And?” Finn asks. “What are the terms of this bet? What do you get from me if you win?”
I hesitate. What do I want from Finn?
I want him to be someone he isn’t, to be the guy I thought he was at seventeen. I want prom to have been memorable not because of the heartbreak I experienced, but because it was wonderful—even if we hadn’t worked out and we’d gone our separate ways after graduation. I want Katie Dalton’s wedding to have been the start of a new phase in our relationship, and not the last time I saw Finn in person until this weekend. I know it’s irrational to hold these things against him. We can’t go back and change the past. But my series of “almosts” with Finn Hughes still nags at my consciousness like a hangnail—it’s not going to kill me, but I can’t quite forget about it either. Maybe what I want from Finn is closure—to understandwhythings never worked out between us, even when there were times when it seemed like we were on the same page. When the spark between us was undeniable. But do I really want to know? No matter the missing details, it ultimately comes down to this: he just didn’t care about me the same way I cared about him. And part of me still wants him to care about me that way, even now.
But those are wants. What Ineedis a ride to Las Vegas and to put any feelings I may have about Finn—good or bad—behind me.
“I haven’t decided yet,” I say eventually.
Finn takes a moment to respond, and I can see him calculating the risk of the unknown.
“How about this,” Finn says. “You win, you get to drive the Singer.” My eyes spark at that. “And if I win, you have to say one nice thing about me.” I roll my eyes. “Do we have a deal?” He holds out his hand, and I grasp it.
“Deal.” Our shake is a beat longer than it should be, neither one of us pulling away, the warmth of Finn’s hand lingering on my palm.
“But if you start singing ‘Viva Las Vegas’ at any point, all bets are off.” He squeezes my hand tighter, his dark brown eyes sparkling.
And in that moment, it’s all I can do to keep those past “almosts” from flooding my mind all over again. It’s going to be a long drive.
9
MISTAKE TWO: THE POOL
(Nine years before the wedding)
IT WAS THE SUMMERafter freshman year of college, and Sybil and I were finally going to take the trip we’d always dreamed of—a four-week backpacking excursion around Europe. I was in the middle of trying to figure out how to fit twenty-eight days’ worth of clothing into a knapsack, when I got a text from Sybil saying that a girl from our high school, Katie Dalton, was having a pool party and wehadto go. I’d been getting nowhere with packing—too nervous about the upcoming flight—and the distraction was welcome.
Sybil picked me up, windows down, music blasting, just like she’d always done. It was somewhat strange to be back in her orbit after we’d drifted apart. We’d barely seen each other in ayear—me at school in Austin, she in California—and I found myself uncertain about whether I wanted to get sucked into her gravitational pull again. I still hung out with Willow a fair amount, but I had tried to find friends at UT who weren’t just the same kids I’d known since middle school. It was nice to be seen as my own person—not just Sybil’s academically intense friend. And, truth be told, I was still a little stung by how things had fizzled out between us senior year. I was slightly nervous about the trip abroad together, and couldn’t help but wonder if she’d only invited me because she knew she needed an anchor friend, someone to keep her out of trouble and help navigate all the logistics. But whatever the reason, I wasn’t going to miss out on the experience of a lifetime, and I hoped that the time spent together would give us the chance to mend things between us and get back to the closeness we’d always had.
When we pulled up to the Daltons’ house, Sybil hesitated for a moment before unbuckling her seat belt, leaving the car running. “Can you do me a favor?” she asked. “Can you do a quick check and let me know if Liam’s in there?”
