“I know.”
She taps my chest again, then gestures toward the wall where his baby picture still hangs. “Keep him here. And there. He doesn’t have to be gone just because he’s not with you.”
My gaze drifts to that photo—and then, like a punch I don’t see coming?—
Maria.
The boys.
Gone.
The house feels even quieter now, like it’s echoing with everything I just lost.
“But you can’t let what happened back then trap you there,” Kate says, her voice steady but full of meaning. “You can’t let it stop you from living again. From…loving again.”
Her eyes search mine.
“You love those boys. You love Maria.” A soft, knowing smile tugs at her lips. “You even love Marbles.” I huff out a broken breath, glancing at her, and she points a finger at me. “Don’t you dare deny it.”
I shake my head, scrubbing a hand over my face. “I’m not. God…if anything had happened to him?—”
“But it didn’t,” she cuts in gently. “And you were there when it mattered.” I exhale slowly, but the guilt is still there, and she must sense it because she says, “Accidents happen, Tuck. Life happens. Sometimes you make the hockey games, sometimes you don’t.” She tilts her head, her voice soft but certain. “Do you really think Josh would have preferred you at that game? Over staying with Marbles when the tiny kitten needed you?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “It just…felt like it was an impossible choice.”
“It was an impossible choice,” she agrees. “But I think you made the right one.”
I look at her. “You do?”
“I do.” No hesitation. No doubt. “Josh is a smart kid. He loves that cat. And he loves you.” Her expression softens. “If anything, he’s probably going to love you more for staying with Marbles. For not walking away when that little fur ball needed you.”
I swallow, the weight in my chest shifting again—still heavy, but not crushing.
“There will be other games,” she continues quietly. “And he knows that. What matters is that you show up. And you do, Tuck. You always do…even when it costs you something.”
“I told him I’d be there…and I wasn’t,” I state, still working through that as I drag in a breath that doesn’t quite make it all the way to my lungs. “You do realize, if I fail a team, they trade me. If I fail a woman, she leaves me. If I fail kids…” My voice breaks, splinters under the weight of it. “I ruin them.”
Kate’s head snaps toward me. “No. No, big brother. That is not true.” There’s no softness in it this time—just fierce, unshakable certainty. “Okay, maybe the team part,” she adds, waving a hand. “I don’t know anything about that world. But the rest, that’s not the truth—that’s something Suzanna left behind in your head.” Her voice softens, but her eyes don’t waver. “You didn’t fail Josh or Lucas. And even if you mess up sometimes, that doesn’t mean you ruin them. Kids aren’t that fragile, Tuck. They bend. They bounce back. They keep loving anyway.”
I want to believe her. God, I want to. But the doubt is still there, dug in deep. My phone pings in my hand, the sound cutting through the moment. I pull it from my pocket, more for something to do than anything else, my thumb swiping across the screen.
Noah.
Then I see the text from Josh. My chest tightens all over again.
“He texted me,” I say, my voice quieter now, almost unsure.
Kate’s brow lifts. “Josh?”
“Yeah. Earlier.”
“What does it say?”
I hesitate. Because this—this feels like the moment everything gets confirmed. The moment I find out I screwed it all up. That I became exactly what I swore I’d never be. Someone who doesn’t show up. My stomach knots as I stare at his name on the screen. His dad never showed up. And tonight…neither did I.
But then I think about Josh. About the way he is—soft-hearted and steady. The way he looks at people like he sees the best in them. He’s so much like his mother. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, then force myself to read.
* * *
