Maeve took a deep breath.Talking was supposed to help.“It’s hard, that’s all.Since I was a kid, like ten years old, Mom and Dad always said take care of Eden, keep an eye on Eden, and that is what I did.When they died, I knew there was no way I was letting Eden go into care.I love my sister, and even though they were assholes and attempted to make it as hard as possible, I fought to keep her.Eden doesn’t know how bad it got, but I don’t know, maybe she did, because she was always so good.She didn’t rebel and she just ...she flourished.They had no choice but to back off.When she reached eighteen, it got a little easier.Eden has been my world for a long time, but now I know I’ve got to let her go.I don’t know if I should offer to move out and let them have the house, or look for a new place for them.I don’t want them to think I don’t want them around.”She felt the tears begin to fall, and now it was like opening up a dam.
“And fucking work,” she said.“That is all I do.I’m worse than my parents.At least they took the time to have a couple of kids, to find one another.All I do is work.My cell phone goes off, and I hate it.I love my job but right now I hate it, and it fucking sucks.I promised myself my work wouldn’t become my only focus, yet that is exactly what it is.”She didn’t want to spend this date moaning about work, and that seemed to be exactly what she was doing.She took a sip of her sparkling fruit drink, and tried to stop the tears from falling.“Ignore me.”
Doc placed a hand on her hip and his other hand across her body.“No, I’ll never ignore you, Maeve.You need to talk to someone and I’m right here for you.”
She let out a little sob.“But it’s so stupid.I don’t want to be crying about a job I actually have.There are people out there who don’t have a job and are desperate for work, and can’t get any.”
“So.You’ve been through a lot, and I don’t give a fuck what other people say, and you know what, neither should you.You can enjoy your job and hate it, and I don’t know whatever the fuck emotion that rushes through you.You have a right to feel this way.Let it all out.”
With his arms wrapped around her, it was the strangest sensation, but she felt like she could breathe.It was a long time since she felt this way.
Doc took the glass from her hands, and she covered her face and sobbed.She just let the pain out.The pain of losing their parents, of being afraid to lose Eden, of making the mistakes.Even the anger at a past boyfriend for falling for his lies.Maeve let everything go, and Doc held her throughout.
She didn’t know how much time had gone by as she fell apart, but eventually the tears stopped.“This must be so unattractive right now,” she said.
“Actually, I’m happy I was the one to hold you.”
She looked out across the lake.“This is really beautiful.”
“I know.”
“And you found this place after losing your son?”she asked.
“Yeah, I did.It’s where I come to think and where I made the final decision to end things with Nancy.”
“Was it hard?”
“No,” Doc said.“Nancy and I made beautiful kids, but terrible people for each other.It wasn’t good between us.”
“I’m so sorry for your son.”
“Me too.He was such a special kid.Charlotte is as well, the two of them together lit up my whole world, and I know at times it’s hard on Charlotte.She loved her brother.”
“Do you think this is why she’s struggling to find herself?”
“It could be.Does any kid really know what they want at eighteen?”
Maeve laughed.“Technically I did, I wanted to be a makeup artist, but now I’m questioning that decision.”
“We all change as we grow up.”
She sighed.She’d grown up a long time ago, but she also knew what she wanted now more than anything.She wanted a family.
****
Doc would hold Maeveto the moon and back if she needed it.After she composed herself, they enjoyed the picnic he prepared.There were mini quiches, some tiny triangle-cut sandwiches, some deviled eggs.None of which he made.These were all made at one of the bakeries in town.
Once they finished their food, he took Maeve’s hand and they took their time walking around the lake.It was a really good, warm, yet fresh day.
“Did you always want to be a biker?”Maeve asked.
“It’s in my blood.The guys rely on me, and there’s nothing more I’d want to do.”
“What about being a dad?Did you always want to be a dad?”
He loved the questions.“No, I never wanted to have kids.”
“You didn’t?”
