“Try me.”
Roz folded her arms. “I’m not getting on your back.”
“Why not?”
“Because I weigh too much. And I don’t want you to know how much too much.”
“Suit yourself.” Konrad turned back toward her and scooped her up in his arms.
She shrieked.
As he strode off in the direction of their building, only a few more blocks away, she wriggled in his grasp. “Put me down!”
“If you don’t stay still, I might drop you.”
“Fuckin’ caveman.”
“Did you know that contrary to popular opinion, the cavemen were neither slovenly nor dimwitted? Regardless of having no manuals, no education, no knowledge of science or mathematics at all, they managed to live beyond puberty to raise the next generation. That points to intelligence.”
“What are you, Mr. Wikipedia? Did you just Googlecavemen?”
“No, I’m trying to impress you. It’s also agreed that language has been around for a million years or more. They developed language in order to communicate with each other. To do that, they must have been extremely intelligent.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re a freakin’ rocket scientist. Now put me down! I’m too old to be carried like a baby.”
“I’ve got a better idea.” He set her on her feet.
“Whew, finally. I—”
Konrad dipped down and came up with Roz draped over his shoulder.
She gasped.
“If you’re going to accuse me of being a caveman, I might as well act like one.”
Roz thumped him on his back. “Put me down this minute!”
“Just relax and enjoy the ride.”
“I don’t usually hear that until I make it to the bedroom.”
Konrad laughed but ignored her plea and strode off in the direction of their building as if she weighed no more than a sack of tennis balls. He added to her embarrassment by whistling.
“Oh, very nice. What if I have to fart while I’m up here?”
“Then fart. We’re traveling downwind.”
Roz giggled and bounced along with Konrad’s long strides. “I give up.”
“Good.”
“It’s your hernia.”
“You’re not as heavy as you think. So many women have negative self-images. You think you have to be bony to be beautiful, when it’s the opposite for most guys.”
“Oh, really?”
“Well, I guess I can’t speak for the entire male population, but most guys I know like a little meat on their women.” He patted her ass.
