“I don’t know what’s so unbelievable about it. Different strokes for different folks an all that.”
“Oh! Ow! Ow!” Smack, smack. “I’m sorry, honey. I’ll never do it again. Now, what did I do?” Smack, smack, smack. Sniffle. “I’m so sorry. I promise. I’ll never fuck another man.” Smack, smack.
“At least not until the next phone call. Heh heh.”Chad floated over Joe’s head, intending to put his own ear to the door. His pressure was a bit off and his ear traveledthroughthe door, instead.
He sighed and pulled his head out of the wood in order to remain on Joe’s side of the barrier.If only he realized… These girls help men act out their needs. Maybe this guy caught his wife in bed with someone else and by pretending to spank her with Gwyneth acting as a stand-in, he can satisfy that need without actually doing it to his wife.
Or maybe he has a fantasy of catching his girlfriend with another man but doesn’t have the guts to tell her about it.
Obviously, she knew what turned on each customer, and this one’s fantasy involved spanking. Joe covered his mouth with one hand to stifle a snicker. He wandered away from the door and sat on the stairs.From the sizable bulge he’s sporting, I’d guess he’s getting turned on too.
Smack, smack. They could still hear the sound effects without an ear to—or in—the door.Now what’ll he do? Pretend to be deaf? He must know she wasn’t spanking herself.
Joe took a chance and opened the door a crack. Bent over theleather chair with a fly swatter, he saw her give the seat a couple more good whacks.
“Ow, ow! Please, forgive me. I’ve learned my lesson,” she pleaded into the phone. A sigh followed. “All right. Uh-huh. I aim to please. Just a measly little ninety-nine cents a minute. Uh-huh. I’ll talk to you later, darlin’.”
She set down the receiver, and Joe quickly closed the door.
When she opened it to invite him in, he asked, “Is everything all right?”
She beamed. “Everything’s just peachy, Mister Murphy.”
“Call me Joe.”
Yes. Anyone who witnesses such intimate secrets ought to be known by their first name.
“Okay, Joe. Now where were we?”
“I wanted to tell your ghost about a breakthrough in the case.”
“Oh, yes. How could I forget?”
“After all that, how could you remember?”
“Chad, honey, are y’all still here?”
“I’m waiting with bated breath—or I would be, if I had the ability to breathe.”
She listened for a moment, then smiled and said. “He’s as anxious as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, sorry. He can’t wait to hear what you have to say.”
“Well, I know it wasn’t the government. I checked my sources with every agency and contrary to Chad’s suspicions, it wasn’t the CIA, the FBI, or even the PTA, for that matter.”
“Oh, groovy. A smart-ass detective making light of my murder.”
“Huh? What did you say, Chad?” She listened again for a moment.
“I said to tell him to shove his jokes up his ass.”
“Oh, my! I can’t repeat that.”
“Just ask him what hedoesknow.”
Gwyneth nodded. “Okay, I’ll ask him. Mister Mur… I mean, Joe, who do you think did it, if not the government?”
