“Okay. Here’s how I felt. I felt insulted, slighted, disrespected, offended, outraged, snubbed, hurt…”
Gaia rolled her eyes. “We get it. You felt terrible because you were inadvertently insulted.”
“Inadvertently? No. It was advertently! Very advertently.”
“I assure you, we didn’t set out to insult you,” Fate said. “I just didn’t feel you were a good match. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Well, you did. You all owe me an apology.”
“If I gave you any false hope, I apologize. I am nothing if not extremely honest,” Mother Nature said. “Sometimes a little tactless, but as honest as I can be without doing…that.” She pointed to the PhD facedown on the ground.
Karma sashayed over to Gaia and leaned in. “I think we need to do something to teach Pan a lesson.”
“I agree. Perhaps we should strand him on a desert island.”
“No. Goats are good swimmers. He’ll just consider it a vacation,” Fate said. “How about stranding him on a high mountaintop? No. That wouldn’t work. Goats climb huge mountains all the time.”
“Leave this to me,” Karma said. “I know exactly what to do.” She narrowed her eyes at the goat god, and he started to shiver. “You can let go of him now, Sister.”
As soon as she did, both Karma and Pan disappeared.
Gaia took a deep breath and looked at the body lying on the ground. “I don’t know if I should be here when Dr. Ned wakes up.”
Fate shrugged. “I don’t think it’ll hurt.”
“He already thinks I’m a kook. I’ll help you get him inside and lay him down someplace comfortable, but then I’m going to leave.”
“Don’t you think we should erase his mind first?” Fate asked.
“Well, duh. But only up to the place where Pan interfered. It was going well, and I don’t want him to think my not seeing him again was because of anything he did wrong.”
“Oh. You don’t want a second date?”
“No. There’s something missing. I think you call it a spark—the sexual attraction people feel for a potential mate.”
“Have you ever felt it with anyone?”
“Um…I may have—once.”
The two goddesses carried the poor man inside his observatory and laid him on his couch. As soon as they’d propped a pillow under his head, Gaia stood next to him and wiped his brow. His eyes fluttered open.
“Where am I? What happened?”
“You’re on your own couch. I’m afraid you don’t look well,” Gaia said. “I called Fate to help me carry you to a comfortable place. I think you just fainted.”
“Oh? I didn’t know I was sick. I felt fine before. How long have I been out?”
“Not long. I don’t think it’s anything serious,” Gaia said. “You’ll feel better in a few hours.”
He reached for her hand. “I’m glad you were here. Usually, I’m all alone.”
“Thank you for a lovely evening. I hope you’ll continue dating. You’re a wonderful guy. I’m just too busy right now. My sister really had no business setting me up with anyone.”
Fate frowned at her. “We’re sorry to have wasted your time,” she said. “Are you feeling better?”
“I feel fine.”
Gaia smiled. “Good. We’ll be on our way now.”
