I huff out a chuckle and switch into the riding gear.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I have never felt more out of place, even though I am so comfortable in it.
The boots are a bit tight, the pants a bit long, but it works.
“Hot,” says El as she looks at me. “Let’s go.”
She walks me to the stable, where a young man is waiting with two horses. Not just any horses. They look like something from a catalog. Perfectly trimmed, shimmering fur with glitter on their flanks. One is the blackest back, tall, muscular, and stands tall with its immaculate, clean black saddle and bridle.
The other draws my immediate attention. A dark chestnut mare. She is muscular, too, but has a wilder mane and cheek in her eyes. Her brown saddle and bridle fit her color perfectly.
I walk over to her and hold out my flat hand for her to check me out.
“I knew she’d be yours,” says El as she takes the black horse from the man. “Her name is Liberty. She is my heart and soul. You will love her. I can see she likes you.” El snuggles Liberty for a moment, and as I just stand there, I see how much different El is with the horses. The distance, the no-emotions—it is gone.
Here, as she leans her head against Liberty’s forehead, she feels. It is such a beautiful moment that goosebumps appear on my arms.
I smile as I store the image in my mind.
“She is beautiful,” I say. “Just like you.”
El chuckles silently. “Let’s ride.”
The man brings us a mounting block, and El holds Liberty until I am on her and have the stirrups set right.
Sitting on her feels like magic. She has this aura around her. Like magic.
And without even riding one bit, just being on her, feels like freedom. It feels like me.
I shed a tear.
El sits on the other horse. He has a temperament, and I believe he must be a stallion.
“El,” I say as she looks at me. I hold out my hand, and she takes it. “Thank you.”
At this point, I can’t keep more tears from rolling down my cheeks.
“Stop crying,” she says. “Or I’ll cry with you.”
“It’s just—“ I say, hesitate, but then say it anyway. “It feels like you gave me back a part of me I had lost.”
El sucks in her lips as she squeezes my hand, and her eyes glitter in the sun from getting watery.
These blue eyes.
“Let’s ride,” she says and lets go of my hand. She squeezes her legs, and Onyx walks majestically. I watch them from behind, as warmth spreads through my chest.
El turns on her horse, leaning with one hand on Onyx’s back.
“Are you coming or not?” she asks, laughing. This beautiful laugh. With her long blonde hair falling down her back.
It is the moment I realize that I am happy. So happy my chest feels like bursting.
This here, right now, with her, that’s it.
“Coming,” I shout after her, and Liberty energetically trots after her.
It feels like I am coming home.
