“I’m sorry,” I say.
“What for?” she asks.
“Stressing you out so much that you need to regulate with the floor.”
“You’re not stressing me out.”
“Please,” I say.
“You are not stressing me out,” she repeats, getting up. “You’re the most peaceful I have ever felt with,” she says as she walks past me and brushes briefly with her fingers over my shoulder. “I’ll make us something to eat.”
I lean back against the bathtub and sit there with her cat. It’s the first time I realize the room I sit in.
It’s very tidy, nothing that isn’t necessary, but it’s also warm and inviting. A pot palm sits in the corner, and photos of her cat hang meticulously placed on the wall.
Jane returns with two bowls of cereal and two spoons. She sits cross-legged in front of me.
“Here, eat,” she says, hands me a bowl, and after I take it, she proceeds to eat her cereal.
I am not hungry.
But I take a spoonful anyway.
Because it’s nice, sitting here on the bathroom floor, eating cereal with her and a cat on my lap.
26
JANE
PLAYLIST: ALL I NEED – WITHIN TEMPTATION
Istare in absolute amazement at Amelie, who lies on my couch opposite me with Black Matter on her chest like a hovercraft.
Black Matter has gotten so attached to Amelie over the past two weeks that she follows her everywhere. And whenever she sits down, Black Matter sits on her, almost like a protective force. And I am glad she does, because the cat does wonders for Amelie.
Whenever Black Matter sits on her, her body relaxes slightly, and her face softens.
This here, right now, is such a peaceful moment.
I have been on edge all the time, waiting for Amelie to fall apart again.
It is the first moment I allow myself to breathe.
And then everything changes.
“No!” shouts Amelie, sitting up straight with her phone in her hand. Black Matter flies from her chest and hisses angrily when she lands on the floor.
“What happened?” I ask, as panic surges through me.
But she doesn’t react.
She just stares at her phone.
I jump up and run to her, staring at the screen.
BREAKING: Richard Whitney-Morgan released
“How can that be?” I ask in shock, but Amelie doesn’t answer. She just stares at the screen.
