She is doing something for herself.
Only for her.
No one else.
I suddenly start laughing.
All the stress is falling off me.
I turn.
See Jane.
“She’s alright,” I say. “She took my card. She’s doing what I told her to do. Breaking free.”
Jane looks at me for a moment.
“How about we have some breakfast?” says Jane and opens the fridge.
“There’s nothing in there,” I say. “We always got take out.”
“You never cook?”
“No?” I half-say, half-ask.
“Oh,” she says and closes the fridge again. “Let’s get take-out somewhere.”
Two hours later, I return to the studio.
I had breakfast.
I feel like myself again.
And I am alone.
I close the door behind me.
Emptiness overcomes me with a sinking feeling in my stomach.
El was always here.
And now, I am alone.
I amaloneagain.
I was left once more again.
I know she did what I told her to do, but I thought?—
What did I even think?
That I’d run away with her?
And now, I am here, alone, with feelings.
I feel so lost in me without her here, that it stabs me in my chest.
I get up to the terrace, grab the blanket we cuddled up in, sit on the lounge sofa, and stare at the Empire State Building.
