I checked the time over there, trying to see what she could have been doing, then she finally picked up.
I propped the phone up so she could see me.
She grabbed her mouth, and I saw the tears forming in her eyes.
“Don’t cry, you gonna make me cry,” I said, looking up at the ceiling, trying to hold back my tears.
“I am sorry,” she said softly. “You just look so pretty, and you look happy.”
I held back my tears. “I love this dress, and I am happy, overwhelmed, but happy.”
My mama let out a deep breath.
“What is bothering you, honey? We haven’t talked in a while.”
“I know, it’s been a lot going on, between work, planning the wedding, and Love’s son moving in, it’s been a lot.”
Ma nodded. “So, you’ve been thrown into your stepmom role early, on top of everything else.”
I nodded. “I have, but he is not the issue. It is everything else.”
“Baby, have you talked to Love about that?”
“I have, and Love is so supportive. I love how he is there for me, but I don’t know, I don’t want to put too much on his plate either,” I responded.
Ma paused. “Baby, do you want to have a wedding?”
“I want to marry Love,” I shot back.
Ma laughed. “Baby, you can still marry him without the wedding.”
I thought about what she said.
“But I feel like I deserve this—all of this. I want this.”
“You can want it, but do you need it? If Love is enough for you, y’all can do something small,” Ma responded.
“Girl, are you okay in there?” Kenya said, knocking on the door.
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a second,” I responded to Kenya, then looked back at Ma.
“Ma, my friends are with me, and I have been ducked off in here.”
“Well, go out there and finish up. Send me a picture.”
“I will, Mama.”
We hung up. I got my face together and walked out, and when my girls saw me, their mouths dropped.
“Islahhh…” Renee said.
“Girl, that dress was made for you,” Kenya said.
I walked up on this lil’ stand and stood in the mirror.
“How are you feelin’, Islah?” Deja asked.
I took a second, looking at myself, taking a pic for my mom, then I turned and looked at them.
