We all laughed, and Kenya started to pour up drinks. I took a cup that Renee passed to me, took a sip, and instantly felt sick, but kept that to myself.
By the time we got to the bridal boutique, Kenya had a lil’ camera and was already recording, staying close to me with the camera all in my face.
The four of us walked in together, immediately being greeted by one of the consultants. The place was beautiful. White walls,soft lighting, dresses hanging everywhere. It looked exactly like the background of the different dress pictures that I looked at online, making me think about when I was a kid and dreamed of this day.
We started with the bridesmaid dresses first, which turned into what I thought it would be.
Fuckin chaos.
Kenya loved her dress. It fit her right, and didn’t need to be tailored too much.
Deja’s dress needed to be taken out some. We all looked at her.
“Well, they only had a size small. I thought I could do it.”
Kenya sucked her teeth. “You know all that ass could not fit in no damn size small.”
Kenya’s dress was a lil’ too big, but also too small for Deja.
I sat down and took a deep breath, listening to the tailor explain to them what they would have to do and that they had enough time to get it done.
Kenya came and sat next to me.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s just a lot going on.”
She agreed.
“Have you thought about moving the wedding up?”
“I have,” I shot back. “But I don’t know if I should. I had a panic attack the other day. Moving it up might cause another one.” I let out a sigh. “Plus, everything is paid for and ready for October.”
The tailor got finished, and then my girls looked at me as if they weren’t just trippin.
“Are you ready to pick out your dress?” Renee asked.
I slightly smiled. “As ready as I will ever be.”
I stood up and started walking around the store with them following me. Kenya picked out some dresses that were toocasual. Deja picked out some that had too much going on, and Renee? I don’t know what the hell that girl was on. I didn’t like the shit she picked. It was all just a big NO.
After about twenty minutes of them helping me, I went off on my own and was looking. I had pictures and ideas in my head, but I wasn’t finding anything close to it. Not even the consultants were helping me.
I was about to say we were going to have to go to another store when I turned the corner and found it.
I walked up to this cream-colored dress on a mannequin.
The consultant who was trying to help me caught me staring at the dress.
“Do you want to try it on?”
I nodded, couldn’t even make the words out.
Her and her coworker got the dress down for me and took me into a dressing room. After they helped me get into it, I turned around, and I was in awe of myself.
The cream-colored dress was draped. It was flowy. It showed just enough skin around my waist and my arms. It was low cut. It was all that I wanted.
I smiled at myself for the first time all day and grabbed my phone and FaceTime’d my mama.
