He didn’t look at me right away. Just kept his eyes forward like the road was more important than the question.
“I don’t say shit that I’m not serious about, my love.”
His face was straight, his posture was calm, and my stomach tightened.
“That’s not what I mean,” I said quieter. “I mean… You really gonna take it there with Gio?”
He finally looked at me, not soft, not mean. Just direct. Like he was trying to figure out what part of me didn’t understand yet.
He looked at me like he was about to say something, then just looked down at his phone. I smirked and turned my body toward the window.
We finally got to the house, and Love walked around me like I wasn’t there, grabbing his weed, sitting by the window, and calling his son to check on him since we were back from our trip. I walked back to the bedroom, started to undress, checked the group chat with my girls, and saw Kenya was getting them caught up about what happened. Deja added,“Love was not the nigga to fuck with back in the day.”
I instantly texted back.
Me: What the fuck you mean?
Kenya and Deja started typing at the same time, then the bubbles went away, then came back, then went away like them bitches was playing with me. I was about to call them when a message finally came through.
Kenya: I told you, Love was that nigga. Niggas was scared of him. He is well connected through Zone 6.
Deja: Yeah, to be honest, I am surprised he hasn’t done shit yet.
I couldn’t get my fingers to type fast enough to question what he might do, when he pushed the bedroom door open and looked me up and down.
“We need to talk.”
That was all he said before he walked back down the hallway. I dropped my phone on the bed and followed him to the living room. He sat back down by the window, and I sat in the chair beside him.
Love relit his blunt, let out a cloud of smoke, and stared at me.
“You know I love you, right?” he said softly.
I nodded. “I know, baby.”
“And you want a life with me, right?”
I scrunched up my face. “Yeah, baby, I just said yes to marrying you the other day.”
He nodded. “Then you need to let me move the way I need to.”
“I never said you couldn’t, Love?—”
“You acted like you were bothered by what I said. You know I have a lot more to lose than that nigga?”
I sat there lookin’ at him, tryin’ to hold my face steady even though my chest was already tight again.
It wasn’t even the words he said that bothered me anymore. It was how easy he could switch into that version of himself, like it was normal life. Like love and violence could sit at the same table, and he ain’t see no contradiction in it.
He took another pull of that blunt, slow, like he had all the time in the world, then leaned back against the window frame.The smoke curled up around his face, softening him for half a second before his eyes cut right back into me.
“I ain’t tryin’ to argue with you,” I said finally, keeping my voice low so it wouldn’t turn into something bigger than it already was. “I’m just tryin’ to understand what you actually mean when you say move how you need to move.”
He exhaled through his nose, not annoyed, not patient either. Just steady.
“What you think I mean?” he asked.
That question sat in the air too long.
