I just hold her.
And let myself want this.
Whatever this is—whatever it becomes—I’m already there.
My actions have made the choice my words haven’t.
Now I just have to catch up.
Booked, Busy, and Not Thinking About Him
Gisele
Busy is a funny kind of armor. Looks productive from the outside. Responsible. Driven. But around here, we know the difference between building something… and hiding inside it. Because sooner orlater, the thing you’re avoiding shows up anyway. And it usually doesn’t knock.
Playlist: “The Archer” by Taylor Swift
The alarm goes off at 4:47 AM. By seven, I’ve booked myself solid through dinner. This is what I can control.
Carrie shows up at eight looking confused by my energy. “Did you sleep down here?”
“I got an early start.”
“Gisele.” She sets down her coffee, studies me with the disconcerting perceptiveness of someone who’s worked beside me for three years. “What happened?”
“Nothing happened. I’m motivated.”
“You’re manic.”
“I’m an entrepreneur in a competitive market.” I grab my appointment book, flip through pages I’ve already memorized. “There’s no room for complacency.”
Carrie doesn’t push further, but I can feel her watching me as I move through the morning. Watching and cataloging and probably drawing conclusions I don’t want to examine.
The first client arrives at 8:30. Then the next. Then three more in rapid succession. I fall into the rhythm of it—the comfortable dance of consultation, application, transformation. This is what I’m good at. This is what I can control.
My phone buzzes again around ten.
Bennett.Everything okay?
I should respond. Should explain that I need space, or that I’m busy, or literally anything that doesn’t involve staring at his name on my screen.
Me:Slammed today. Talk later.
Three words. Casual. Friendly. The kind of text you send to someone who doesn’t matter.
The lie tastes bitter, but I swallow it anyway. Because it’s easier than admitting we’ve been having sexual encounters non-stop and now I’m terrified of what that means.
Easier than facing the fact that I want him again. Right now. All the time.
Around noon, my inbox does something unexpected.
I’m between clients, scarfing down a protein bar that tastes like cardboard wrapped in disappointment, when an email notification pops up. The subject line makes me stop mid-chew.
Partnership Opportunity - Luxe Beauty Collective
Luxe Beauty is a regional brand I’ve been following for years—indie-owned, quality products, the kind of company that actually cares about the people using their stuff instead of just chasing margins. They’ve been expanding their salon partnerships lately, and I’ve fantasized about reaching out but never had the guts.
Now they’re reaching out to me.
