‘I see.And your mother?Good relationship?’
‘Distant.’
‘You took this job to pay her medical debt.’
‘My cousin remortgaged her house to help cover it.I wanted to help.’
‘Family is important.One could sayweare family now, hm?’
‘I would never presume to—’
‘But I would.I would presume,’ Alistair says, and for the first time there’s real force behind the words.He looks away as he says it, and the movement is so painfully familiar it unsettles Lachlan.The same controlled withdrawal Jules uses whenever emotion threatens to surface, a clean cut away from vulnerability before anyone else can touch it.‘I know I am a stranger to Jessamine.To Mimi,’ he self-corrects softly.‘I told myself not to get attached to her.Girls are different, I never… well.No matter.’He looks back at Lachlan then with those same honey eyes his son inherited.‘I know what she calls you sometimes.I know far more than you think I do, Lachlan.I know how strongly you advocate for my children, even against me.I have no intention of interfering in your little homegrown rebellion.Do you know why?’
Lachlan’s heart is beating so fast it hurts.‘Sir, I wouldn’t—’
‘Because my children will never be free of their father.Not through their own efforts, nor yours, nor anyone else’s.There are domains beyond your knowledge, entire structures of understanding from which you are necessarily excluded, and I intend to keep it that way.I want,’ he adds, voice dipping into something coarse, setting down his tea, ‘my children to know some measure of a warm presence.A protector.An older brother.’He looks down, tone flat.‘Adad,not a father.’
Silence stretches between them for a long time.
Lachlan’s mind is whirring, he feels so much and shows none of it.Eventually, Alistair breaks it by checking the screen built into his desk and pinch-dragging it up to hover mid-air.
He then taps a button.
‘Bring up the Thailand meeting by two days.’
‘Yes, sir,’a male voice confirms.
Whatever fragile honesty passed between them is gone now, Lachlan can tell.Alistair sips his tea, once more in control of himself.
‘You killed yours, I think?’
Lachlan doesn’t even bother to lie.‘I did, yes.’
‘Fathers are the first monsters,’ he muses.‘I wished every day for mine to die and then the day came… and I no longer knew the world around me.My children deserve the best of everything which is why I want to keep you.If you’re happy, of course.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Julian is incredibly precious to me.When he was younger, certain complications led me to a difficult solution.There is a line that must be walked with him.He must grow strong, disciplined, healthy, but never uncontrolled.He is far too intelligent for brute force.I would not break him, but I do need him willing to bend.You can walk that line for me, Lachlan, and you will.’
Lachlan is suddenly so exhausted, he could cry.
He hasn’t cried since he was seventeen, and he doesn’t now.
‘Won’t you?’Penhalyx prompts when he says nothing.
‘Yes, sir.I will.’
Jules had once looked at him and said,same thing anywayand Lachlan had been cut by it, but it was true.The old man knows everything.He knew from the start.Hewantedit.He wanted all of it.
And Lachlan has given it to him.
A more comfortable cage.A kitten to live for, stay for.
Heis the kitten.
‘Good.That’s all.’
CHAPTER TEN
