The extra food arrives.
‘Here we go,’ the waitress says, setting it down.‘Anything else?’
‘No, we’re great, thanks,’ Kade tells her, watching her walk away.
Lachlan manages a shaky smile.‘Mimi loved knives,’ he adds with a shaky laugh that Kade gently shares.‘And she had this habit, was my fault entirely, of asking me to kill whoever she didn’t like.She’d say,Daddy bang bang.’His expression darkens a little.‘But that’s what I mean about the job and that place.It was a world unto itself and trying to explain it feels ridiculous.Inside those walls, everything was justified.Outside, I’m just a fucked-up discharge who never had a family and tried to make one where I should have known better.You don’t make beds in a burning house, but I always thought,’ Lachlan says, unbearably soft towards the end, ‘I had more time to put out the fire and get you both to safety.’
He falls silent after that.
Kade eats a little bacon.‘What happened?’
Lachlan wipes his eyes, clears his throat.‘At the end?’
‘Yeah.’
‘To be honest, Little Harker most likely knows more than I do.I feel like if we break his…’ Lachlan sighs, can’t seem to find a better word so uses what he has, ‘cursethen he could probably tell us what went down.I know it was his father, Troy Harker, who shot you both.’
‘You saw it?’
‘I did.’
‘Where?’
‘It happened in your Tower, right at the bottom of the big staircase.That’s where you died, both of you.By the time I got through his people, there was fire everywhere.Mimi was screaming.You were just standing there by the steps, hands tied behind your back, and I tried to run to you, but I couldn’t get there in time.I watched him execute you both and then it all went black and I woke up in a cell.It’s always haunted me,’ he says, voice delicate and shaky, ‘that you died with your hands tied.’
Kade pushes his plate aside, leaning in.‘Let me ask you something.’
‘Go for it.’
‘Is there any trace of doubt in your mind that I’m him?’
‘None.’
‘All right.’Kade exhales slowly.‘I accept what you’re saying.I believe you.’
‘Thank you.’
‘But I need you to understand that I’m not him.I’m notyourJules.’His head gives a dull throb, middle still achy.‘I think Riley is right.I think he died and I’m just the reboot.I don’t have his memories.I don’t have those years with you.I’m just Kade.Iron Star’s best.Bodyguard to the boss.’
‘I understand that.’
‘Then what’s your tie to me?You don’t know me, you knew him and don’t say,you are him,because I’m just not.I don’t know the Estate you’re talking about.I don’t know Mimi.I never had a father.I don’t recognise you.Is it just his body?Is that all you care about?Are you really just hisbodyguard?’
‘No, that’s not what it is, and I know you’re gonna hate me for saying this, but all those memories you don’t have arestill theresomewhere.Buried deep, locked away, but they’re not gone.You wouldn’t have known Mari otherwise.’
‘Maybe that’s all that was left.’
‘I don’t believe that.But OK, let’s say it’s true.Let’s say Jules really is dead and gone and you’re an entirely new person.I’m still your bodyguard, your psychopath until the end.’
‘Why?’
‘You’re the only piece of home I have left.’
It’s a sad, honest answer.Kade nods to himself, eats a little more from the third plate when it arrives, but he’s lost his appetite by then.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
It’s around two AM when they walk back.
