Norah remained silent for a beat and sneaked a peek over her shoulder at Mr. Green Eyes, giving Jessie time to jump back into her line of questioning. “Yes, there is a very fuckable man nearby. Which means that you must begin the process of getting fucked.”
“Jessie, you are being ridiculous. You know that’s not me.”
“I know that has never been you before. But it is going to be you this week. For once, you are going to stop dreaming and plotting about how to catch the perfect man and immediately make the perfect baby. You are going to throw those intricate plans of yours out the window and live life. Get a little messy, everything is more fun that way. That’s why scrambled eggs are so much yummier than the boiled ones. They’re messy.”
“Scrambled eggs are yummier because they are whipped with cream and cooked in butter.”
“Well, maybe if you get lucky, you’ll get whipped in cream. Fuck the hottie. Hell, fuck two hotties. Fuck a different hottie every night you are there. If you can manage it, fuck a different hottie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If anyone needs a good hottie fucking, it’s you, Ms. Robinson.”
“Oh my god, would you stop saying the f-word and hottie?” Norah could feel her face heating. “Thank heavens, I’m the only person that can hear you. You will never get a husband with a mouth like a sailor.”
Jessie laughed. “I’m not you, Norah. It is not my dream to marry the first guy that asks and have the requisite two point five kids. I certainly don’t want one that can’t handle my sailor’s mouth. You haven’t had fun since college. You’re always focused on finding the man, popping out babies, and building the picket fence. Live life, Norah. Enjoy life. When you do, all the things you want will come rolling your way. Until then, be wild for at least one night. Every life deserves at least one wild night.”
“Jessie, I’m not the kind of girl that can just be wild.”
“Norah, you are twenty-seven years old and you are still holding out for this idea of perfection, and it’s not going to happen. You have spent the last five years dating a string of losers thinking that somehow you can turn every single one of them into this fantasy man you’ve created in your mind. To make matters worse, I don’t think you’ve even liked half the guys you’ve dated. Curt hurt your ego, but I can tell he didn’t break your heart.”
Ouch. Talk about the painful truth.Norah sighed. “You’re right. I’m not heartbroken. What I am is lonely. You’re busy in the city, and I’m not exactly turning down invitations for dates. So, yeah, I’m lonesome, and I’m tired of coming home at night to no one. That is why I decided to skip step one and move on to step two in my plan.”
“Step two?”
“A baby. Step two is a baby. I got so focused on my plan that I forgot about my goal. My goal is to have a family, not a husband. Step three is a terrier, by the way.”
“Norah —”
“Before you say anything, just listen. I know family isn’t your big goal, but it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve been focused on doing the family thing in a specific order, but I don’t have to do that. I’m a modern day woman with a good job. I can do things my own way. That’s why I decided to consult a doctor and see about having a baby on my own. So no more relationship goals for this gal.”
“I’m on board with you forgetting the relationship things, but I’m not —”
“As I was saying, no more relationship hunting for me. Just fun. Maybe even sex with the hottie. Perhaps I’ll get lucky and he’ll get me pregnant. Then I can go my way and he can go his, and I’ll get a precious little green eyed baby out of it. Plus, that would save me a small fortune in doctor’s fees.”
Jessie gave a derisive snort. “I know you are just kidding, but that isn’t funny. Listen, seriously, fuck the hottie. Fuck him over and over and over, until you can’t ski. Hell, until you can’t walk. But don’t be stupid. Use protection. Not just because you’re being overly hormonal with the baby talk, but also because you have zero damn ideas where this guy has been or who he’s been with. Then, after you get back from your trip and I can manage a day off, we will talk about the baby plan.”
“But —”
Jessie cut her off, “But whatever you do — Have. The. Sex. Have it with hottie number one. Find a hottie number two and have it with him. Hell, if you can make it to hottie number seven, just climb up that stairway to heaven. Live a little and break some eggs.”
“Got it. Eff all the hotties. Use protection. Don’t get pregnant. Break eggs. I really should write this down.”
“First, don’t be a smartass. Second, yes, break eggs. Scramble them up and make a mess of it, because you are living in a funk and it is miserable to watch. I wish I were there. If I were I would get you drunk and put you right in that man’s lap. But I’m not, so you’re going to have to cowgirl up and do it yourself.”
“You’re right. I’m just going to do it. I’m going to go over and say hello. Right after I finish my glass of wine.”
“Chicken.”
“I’m not. I just want a little extra courage before I go.”
“That’s my girl. I’ll text you in ten minutes. You better reply with a picture of you and your new best friend snuggled up in a cozy booth.”
“Okay. I mean, no. I’m not taking a picture. I mean, okay I’ll go say hello. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Bye chick. Go scramble the hell out of those eggs, and for now, forget all about those plans of yours.”
Norah clicked off the call and took a deep sip of the wine.Scramble some eggs, Norah.
Lukyan’s mate put up her hand and stalled him from approaching her at the bar.
“Oh my god. You’re fated mate, the one that is destined to love you for the next eight hundred years or so, just gave you the cold shoulder so that she could take a call. That is priceless.”
