“Of course.It’s your home.It’s where you belong.”
“I sure hope so.Petey’s going to forgive me for yelling, right?”
“He’ll pout.You frightened him.Tori will give you an earful about ‘brudder’.He’ll get over it.”In theory.
“Areyougoing to forgive me for yelling at him?”
“Yes, and I’ll keep them away from you so you can heal.That’s my fault.I thought he was upstairs still.”
JP shook his head.“I like having them around.I’ll just be more careful.”
“I know that it hurt.”He knew that JP wanted to be there for the kids.He knew JP wasn’t perfect.
Neither was he.
“I won’t push so hard again,” JP promised.“So it won’t be so bad.”
“I’m sorry.”He kept rubbing.“I wish…”
He wished that they had a chance of being enough.
“Wish what, Chou?”JP murmured, sounding half asleep.
He shook his head.“That you weren’t hurting so much.”
“Me, too, Chou.Me too.”JP reached up and patted one of his hands.
“Just relax.I’ll make potato soup for supper with buns.You’ll like it.”
He’d feed the kids something easy, maybe just let them sleep with him.
It would be good, not to have to sleep alone.
ChapterNine
JP didn’t want to make any decisions without talking to Ian.There were too many variables, too many questions they needed to figure out.And honestly, he was scared of the answers to a lot of those questions.
What if Ian was expecting him to get better and find his own place to live?What if Ian never wanted to get back together with him again?What if?What if?What if?Too many fucking what ifs.
It was two days after the bad news and his overdoing it before he felt human again, backing off on the pain pills and doing more than just hurting and sleeping.He supposed he really ought to talk to his husband about the future.At least some of it.
He hadn’t seen a whiff of the kids.He had Mike during the day, then Ian in the evenings.
He had good food, massages, company.
No children.
He wasn’t sure Ian was ever going to forgive him for yelling at Petey, no matter what he’d said.
JP could hear Tori walking outside his rooms, putting her feet down very hard, over and over.
“I hear you, Tori.Come on in,” he called out.Facing her was scarier than having a serious talk with Ian.
She pushed at the door.“You sleepin’?Daddy says you sleepin’.”
“I was earlier, but I’m not now.You can come in.”
She walked in, staying out of reach of him, arms crossed over her chest as she stared.
