“No.”
The word broke out of me too fast, too sharp.
Dean stilled in a heartbeat.
I shook my head, already backing toward the door because if I stayed another minute, another second, I would fold completely.
“No,” I repeated, quieter now, my voice fraying at the edges. “Do not ask me that.”
Pain flashed across his face, quick and unguarded before he tried to hide it again. “I’m sorry.”
“Do not apologize.” My breathing was uneven. “Bože…” I dragged a hand hard across my mouth, trying to regain control and failing.
Because the truth was unbearable now.
If Dean had demanded something, I could have fought it.
If he had given me an ultimatum, I could have called it unfair.
But he had only asked me to stay, as though I already belonged here with him, and some traitorous part of me believed I did.
Dean took half a step forward before stopping himself. That hurt too.
Everythinghurt.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he managed to get out. The honesty in his voice nearly destroyed what remained of my composure.
“You may already have.” The moment the words left my mouth, I wanted them back.
Dean went still once more, and horror crashed through me, hot and instant, because I had not meant that, not truly, but now it hung between us anyway, cruel and irreversible.
I saw the exact moment he forced himself not to react, not to reach for me.
My hand closed around the door handle.
“Luka.” His voice cracked on my name now. “Please just?—”
I could not survive hearing the rest.
I opened the door too quickly, and cold corridor air met my overheated face.
For one final second, I looked back at him.
Dean stood in the middle of the room, gold medal hanging forgotten over the back of a chair, heartbreak etched across the face of a man still trying to let me leave with dignity.
And I understood that whatever happened next, there would never be another version of my life where Dean Foster had not changed it.
Then I left before the part of me that loved him won.
Dean
I layon my bed staring at the ceiling while the Olympic Village settled gradually into uneasy silence around me. Doors closed somewhere down the corridor. Pipes hummed in the walls. Outside the window, Milan glowed gold beneath the winter sky.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Luka standing near the door with heartbreak written all over his face while he told me he didn’t know how to choose between freedom and survival.
What clawed at me?
I understood.
