I didn’t realize how extensive his detached attitude bothered me until that one small sign of comfort. It feels like I can breathe again. He has a way of calming my anxiety that I don’t understand. One tiny gesture from him and my entire body responds, growing calm and at ease. Myown brainwon’t listen to me when I give logical reasons why it’s safe, but it listens to him without him even saying a word. The tension in my shoulders ease, breathing comes easier, my hands relax. It almost scares me how easily he’s able to cut through my panic.
Liam and Jack get out of the car, and I watch them step up to the docks to talk to a young man who’s waiting there. They nod and talk for about thirty seconds before looking back to the car and giving a nod to it, which Alasdair immediately respondsto. He opens the door and steps out, before offering me a hand, which I accept, feeling even more calmed by his warm skin against mine.
He leads us to where Jack and Liam are waiting, the young man already disappeared onto a boat. The car behind us drives off, making me turn around instinctively to look at it, but Alasdair squeezes my hand, bringing my focus back to them. Liam grins, and even Jack is smiling a bit. “Ready for your evening adventure, missy?” Liam nudges me playfully.
My eyebrows raise. “Evening adventure?”
Both Liam and Jack look to Alasdair in confusion, as if they’re not sure why he didn’t tell me already. I look at my supposed fiancé, too. He glances at me briefly before tearing his gaze away and looking towards the boat, like he can’t even stand to look at me for more than a second. “We’re going on a sunset boat tour. I thought you might like it.”
My heart sinks a bit at his obvious disturbed behavior, still baffled by it, but I take hope in the fact that he’s still holding my hand. “That sounds wonderful.” I keep my voice soft and gentle, wishing I could fix whatever that’s suddenly come between us.
Both Jack and Liam look even more confused, looking between Alasdair and I with furrowed brows. Before either of them can say anything, the young man appears up the ramp of the boat, smiling widely and spreading his arms out on either side of him. “Welcome, welcome! I hope you’re all excited! The weather is lovely tonight and the skies are clear. The sunset will be glorious, as is fitting for Lady Liberty, of course. Are we ready to go?”
Alasdair nods and lets go of my hand, leading the way towards the dock. The cheery young man practically skips ahead of him. Liam and Jack wait for me to join them before walking, just behind Alasdair.
“So, I’m Camden, nice to meet you all,” the young man grins as he jumps down into the fancy yacht we’re apparently heading towards, making my jaw drop. “I’m your oh-so-esteemed captain tonight! Come in, come in,The Kiss of Libertywelcomes you. That’s the boat’s name.” He winks at me, and I notice Alasdair stiffen.
Camden holds his hand out to help us descend into the boat. Alasdair goes first, but turns around to wait for me, making eye contact with me and waving me over. Camden raises an eyebrow and steps back, since Alasdair isn’t giving him room to let him help me into the boat. I take Alasdair’s hand, and then carefully step down. My fiancé leads me a few steps away to some seats before dropping my hand and creating distance between us, but still keeping his eye on Camden.
The ship’s captain seems none the wiser about having the Irish Demon’s eyes shooting daggers into his back. Camden helps Liam and Jack into the boat before stepping away to lay out some fruits, cheeses, crackers, and pastries onto the bar area, and then popping a champagne bottle. He grins at Alasdair and I. “Are we celebrating something? I was instructed to have lots of champagne and other celebratory goodies for our adventures tonight.”
Alasdair sits beside me, putting an arm across the back of my chair. “We’re celebrating our engagement.” His voice is smooth and betrays none of the turmoil that I’ve noticed is stirring within him.
Camden’s eyes widen and he grins. “Ah! Congratulations! How wonderful, so happy for you both.” He hands us two champagne glasses, before turning to give two more to Jack and Liam. He has to look around, as they already went to the front of the ship to look out. Camden practically bounces along as he goes out there to give them their drinks. He returns a moment later, safely storing the champagne bottle back in a fridge behindthe bar. “All right, let’s get this party started! We got you drinks, your snacks are all laid out…now, let’s take off! Please mind the bumps as we get out from the docks, and hold onto your champagne flutes! And of course, enjoy the ride.” He leaves the kitchen area to go untie the ropes holding us to the dock, and then to the wheel to drive us out into the harbor.
“He has an insufferable customer service demeanor,” Alasdair grumbles, looking off to the side. He said it quietly enough that I’m not even sure he meant for me to hear it.
Since he was so quiet, I don’t respond, fiddling instead with my glass as the boat slowly makes its way toward the open water. I glance over the other side, enjoying the view of the city from this vantage point. I would’ve never thought I’d see it this way, out on the water.
Alasdair notices my silence, and I feel him twirling a strand of my hair through his fingers. “What layer in that complicated mind of yours is keeping you silent now, leannán?”
“I don’t think it’s very fair to ask me to share my mind when you aren’t sharing yours, either,” I say quietly, my shoulders stiffening. I’m not sure where this boldness is coming from, as I usually don’t like calling people out, but I can’t take it anymore. I glance out at the water, facing away from him, as tears sting my eyes.It’s stupid. I shouldn’t even be upset over this.
There’s silence from the man on the other side of me for a moment.
He sighs. “Perhaps you're right. You have the right to keep your thoughts to yourself just as I do.”
My heart plummets down to my stomach, causing my shoulders to sag forward a bit.He’d rather not know my thoughts if it means keeping his secrets? Really?
“You’ve noticed I’m upset,” he observes quietly. I nod. “And me being upset in turn upsets you, leannán?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek, still facing away from him. I try to focus on my breathing for a moment so I can speak without emotions choking up my words. When I don’t immediately respond, his fingers gently pull my chin towards him so I’m facing him. Feeling bare and emotionally naked, I grit my teeth, trying to get control of myself. “Yes. Is that really so shocking?”
His eyebrows raise as his eyes search mine. “Yes, it is. Why does it upset you?”
I huff in frustration. “Because it was so sudden, and…” I grit my teeth again, but his gray eyes seem to draw the truth out of me and it floods forward, slipping out of my mouth. “Because I just don’t know what I did wrong! And if I don’t know, then I can’t fix it.”
His eyes widen, and I feel humiliation course through me. I jerk my chin out of his grasp. I can only imagine how red my cheeks are, they feel as hot as a furnace. I get up and stalk away, wanting to get out of his view, out ofeveryone’sview, and just breathe.
I go to the side of the boat, not quite to the front, but out of the line of sight of Alasdair as he sits in the back. I grip the railing as I gaze out over the water. It’s a beautiful sight, but I can’t even enjoy it.
I’m overstimulated, stressed out, and I want to go home. Not to the hotel, but back to the small apartment I share with my mom. Away from luxury, away from rich snobs, away from the criminal underworld, away from all these stupid social games.
And far away from the Irish Demon.
24
Kerry
