“This is only the outgoing sales. We’re missing half the picture.”
I step back, stunned as the pieces fall into place. I laugh despite myself and wave a hand at the pinched way she glares at me. “I know, it’s not funny, but I was up all night trying to make sense of that thing. You figured it out in like an hour.”
“What are we going to do with this? Isn’t the whole point of taking this specific information because involving the Davises complicates everything? But they’re not in here. This only proves Arsen’s been selling, but who cares?”
I slump down beside her. I look at my hands, at the scars and the callouses, at the gnarled knots of flesh around the knuckles. The hands of a thief. Of a man who has spent his whole life lying, cheating, stealing, and hiding.
“You know what I wanted before you came into my life? The only thing I cared about in the entire world?”
“Diamonds.”
“I wanted to disappear. That’s all I cared about. I was a broken man, Tallie, ready to give up. This whole plan, to rob Arsen, to use it to blackmail him, the whole idea was to immolate myself, make it so that I could never return to Baltimore, but couldn’t be followed either. It was killing myself without killing myself.’
“You wanted to start over.”
“No, not really. I wanted to end, but I never thought about what was next.”
“You didn’t think about where you’d go?”
“I had vague ideas. Somewhere in Southeast Asia maybe or down in the Caribbean. Or I could try my luck in Rotterdam or see if I could slip into London. I had ideas, but none of them mattered as much as erasing myself.”
“You were hurting.”
“People died because of me. That job in Vegas, it went very wrong, and people died. But I came back and I survived, but I don’t think I ever really healed, and now I’m under the thumb of the Brotherhood, doing what I’ve always done, and I hated it. I didn’t want to steal from your family. I never intended to hurt Davit or anyone else, but here I am, making all the same mistakes.” I drop my face into my hands.
Tallie rubs my back. I don’t know why she does it. I don’t deserve her pity or her comfort. She should be stabbing me in the throat, not trying to make me feel better.
“I don’t blame you for what happened with Sam. I was so mad when it first happened, but I understand it now. This is what they do, right? Arsen and all the others in the Brotherhood? They steer you and use you, like they did to me.”
I look up and she’s watching me, and I swear I’ve never seen her looking so determined before, like a new woman slipped into her skin. It’s the same Tallie, only with bones of iron.
“I was always supposed to be perfect,” she says, fingers curling into my back. “But I was never any good at it, and that’s probably why they tried to trash me the first chance they got.Papa never cared much about me, not the way he cares about Annie. I wanted to be good, but what did that ever get me? When you came into my life, I was barely living. I was always there, always visible, the center of attention, but I was like a black hole, sucking it in, giving nothing of substance back. I was a ghost floating through the days.”
“I’m still a ghost sometimes.”
“Then we can haunt them together.” She moves closer. “I’m not giving up, Brenden, and you’re not either.”
“Tallie—“
“No, I mean it. We’re not giving up.”
I lean into her. “I was never going to stop. It’s not about me anymore. I wanted to disappear before, but then you came into my life, and now I realize I want to be seen. I want to stay in one place, so long as you’re there. I’m sorry, baby, I really am, about Davit and Sam, about your cousins and everything. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest about what was happening from the start. I tried to protect you, but I only made it worse.” I shift my weight and drop to my knees in front of her. I take her hands between mine and lift them to my lips, kissing them softly. “I want to do this. I want to figure a way out if that means being with you, or even if it means making sure, you’re safe and your family is safe too.”
“I don’t want to lose you.” She bends down to kiss me gently. “I don’t want you to disappear.”
I kiss her harder, holding her tight, and her voice rings in my head.This is only half. An idea forms as I hold that kiss, and when I break away, I’m smiling.
“What’s that look?” She sounds bewildered.
“If there’s this—“ I gesture at the ledger. “There has to be a twin.”
“I mean, probably, but?—“
“The Davises will have it. I guarantee that. And I promise their security will be trash compared to what Arsen’s got. If we can find their half and put the two together, I think I know how we can get out of this nightmare.”
She laughs. I doubt she believes me, and I can’t blame her. I’m the shattered shell of a man, but I’m building myself back up. I’m finding ways to be seen, to stay in one place, to remain solid, if that means having her.
“Alright then, I guess we have one more heist before this is over.” She grins massively and kisses me hard. “Look at what you’re doing, turning me into a proper thief.”
