“Uh.” I threaded my hands on top of my desk. “I’m not even sure that’s a real question.”
“Yeah, so then why do I get the feeling you’re hiding something from me?”
I hesitated for only a moment. The fear of my secret beingfound out was an old wound that would never fully heal. In deflection of what could be or what he could know, I leaned into our usual easygoing manner we’d adopted with each other. “Jesus, William, don’t be a bitch about it. Say what you mean.”
He huffed. “We aren’t chicks, but I dunno, I figured if you had something going on, you’d talk to me. You’ve always been this level guy, and in the last month, you’ve fluctuated more than in the last ten years. You’re smiling for no reason at all, even making friends at those charities we get dragged to. What gives?”
“Oh.” Well, fuck. I hadn’t realized I’d been so transparent.
William and I were close, or at least the closest out of all the people in my life. I might not’ve confided to him about my sexuality, but everything else was on the table. We commiserated with each other over our well-known and powerful parents. We shared in the anguish of pushy mothers practically selling their daughters to us. We bemoaned the achievements of others when they outshined our own, then bolstered each other to try harder.
“I, uh.” I got up and closed my door, then retook my seat behind my desk.
William scooted his chair closer.
“I met someone,” I said.
One corner of his mouth lifted high, and then he smacked the top of his thigh. “I knew something was up. Fuck. Tell me everything. Are you still seeing her? She wife material or mistress material?”
I wasn’t about to correct his gender assumption, but I hated lying. I chose my words carefully and hoped he could forgive me, though he’d never know he needed to. “It’s new. We met randomly, and it took a few weeks to get somewhere, but now it’s good.” I winced and amended that to, “Eh, it’s promising.”
“Your mother know yet? God, it’s got to be a relief to have her off your back.”
I shook my head. “She doesn’t know, and she wouldn’t be pleased.”
“Ah.” William nodded once and sat back. “Not from the right stock. I see.”
“And young.”
He snorted. “Legal, I hope.”
I grinned, saying nothing.
“You’re shitting me.”
I couldn’t stop my smile from widening, even if I wanted to. “Nineteen.”
“Fuck you, man,” William said with his own smile growing to match mine. “Jesus, fuck you. Where did you find her? Pick her up out front of a high school?”
“No,” I laughed. “Dickhead.”
We both chuckled while he shook his head in disbelief. “Mmm. God, I can’t imagine. Young enough everything’s all tight and naïve enough you can teach her what to do.”
I laughed, not commenting on who would be teaching whom. “You’re a pervert. Get out of my office.”
“I’ve got to meet her.”
“Nope.”
“Dude, this is the first time in … Hell, this is the first time you’ve ever said you were seeing someone. And I’m not talking about the couple of dates you went on to shut your mother up. I’ve got to meet the girl who snagged my best friend’s heart.”
A stabbing pain made said heart stutter. Best friend? He was, and that was what hurt. My best friend would never meet Asher.
“It’s all really new. Maybe one day when we’re solid.”
William huffed. “I get it. I’ll meet her at the wedding, at least.”
He left me alone with those parting words. I’d made him happy, given him enough to reaffirm we were friends, but mymood tanked. I’d never been in this situation on all fronts. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like lying or scrambling to make sure I wasn’t saying the wrong thing.
