“Slim pickin’s,” she said, then sipped her drink.
“Are you goin’ off looks or who looks like they have money?”
“Can’t I have both?” She feigned an innocence she sure as shit wasn’t. “What about that guy?” She pointed with a slight nod, but I couldn’t tell who she meant.
“Uh, sure?”
Savannah snorted. “Jeeeesus, Ash, I thought you were gay. You make a terrible wingman.”
“It’sAshley, hon, and I thought you were gonna bemywingwoman. Isn’t that what we’re here for?”
Savannah snorted, then eyed me a second before turning slightly to ignore me altogether.
“Savannah?” I asked, but she turned even more. “Fuck me.”
I sat my drink down—so I wouldn’t throw it—and jerked her around to face me. She seemed legitimately torn between regretful and amused.
“I’m sorry, Ash.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why?”
“Well, um, you look real pretty.”
“I know, but what’re you sorry for?” I asked but was getting an inkling.
“Um, well, Morgan and I settled the bet the other day. He gave in and said you really could pass for a girl, but he didn’t have a hun’erd dollars, so he gave me the original fifty.”
“What?” I whisper hissed.
“Sorry. You didn’t … I’m sorry, Ash, but this is much more fun with you here.”
“Fun?” A man and woman near us turned at my outburst. “Fun?” I said again in an angry whisper. “I shaved my fuckin’ legs for this. I was all in, and now, fuckin’now, you tell me I didn’t even have to be here?”
Savannah grimaced. “No. No, I wanted you to come.”
“You could’ve told me before I strangled my dick into these pantyhose.”
She dropped her gaze, wincing. “I’m so sorry.”
“Fuck this.” I marched off, or tried to, but she grabbed my arm.
“Don’t leave. Let’s make the most of it, okay?”
“Oh, I ain’t leavin’. You still owe memyfifty bucks, but I need a minute.”
I wouldn’t leave her here, as badly as I wanted to. I wasn’t an asshole like that, but she could keep her own lying ass company while I found a bathroom and seethed for a few minutes.
Fuck this dress, and fuck these torturehose.
A few heads turned at my steady stride that was in no way feminine, but I didn’t care now. They could think whatever they wanted to. It’d been a stupid idea I’d given my all to, and I still could, simply to prove how awesome Savannah was, but before I could do that, I needed to free my junk and take a piss.
Standing up!
The closest restrooms were in the main hall, so I headed in that direction but stopped short of entering.
Two white doors, similar in all but one very important detail, stood like game show choices. One had a gold plate that read women and the other men. Which did I choose?
Technically, there was no choice. I identified as a man, no matter what I was wrapped in, but if I went in and a guy was in there, I’d have some explaining to do. I could head into the women’s restroom and squat in a stall, but eww and no.
