“Hi,” he said.
Hoping William hadn’t noticed the awkward pause, I reached for Asher. I hadn’t wanted to touch him again. I hadn’t prepared myself for it. Everything about Asher was smaller than me. Height, frame, even his hands. But when his fingers curled around mine, a certain strength flooded onto my skin and coursed up my arm.
Asher smiled wider, charisma oozing from him as his nerves melted, being replaced with the magnetism I remembered. It came naturally to him and was all the more potent for it. Dressedas a woman, being a woman in my eyes, he’d still captured my attention. As a man, did I stand a chance against it?
“Hi,” I said.
“William, perhaps you could settle a dispute for us.” Percy took a few steps toward the champagne fountain and waved for William to follow him.
“I’ll do my best. What’s up?”
“Well, you see, I’m adamant someone spiked the punch, because some of these people are acting a little weird.”
“That’s pink champagne, for one thing, not punch.” Their voices trailed off as they moved farther, leaving Asher and me standing together.
Asher glanced at their retreating backs, then licked his lips. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
I lifted a brow and bit back a grin. “Oh? Do you mean as Luke and Asher? Should we meet as Luke and Ashley?”
Pink bloomed across his tan cheeks. “I’m really sorry about that.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. So many questions flooded my mind and only served to bottleneck my cognitive process. Was I sorry he had? Yes, maybe. But had he been a man at that first event, I’d never have approached him.
William’s hearty laugh pulled me out of my thoughts. “You’re crazy, my man.” He clapped Percy on the shoulder, while Asher and I stepped away from each other as if we’d been pushing the bounds of propriety.
We had no reason to stay and talk with them, and dozens of reasons not to. William and I made the circles, avoided our parents, signed checks, and made fund transfers, all while I stole glimpses of Asher across the room. They seemed to move as we did, always staying within my sight, but never close enough.
The next week at work, my focus returned. I was determined, single-minded, and engrossed in my tasks. I filled my days withmeetings and trades, nearly missed the Thanksgiving holiday, and caught up with William on Friday, making plans to head to the gym together that afternoon.
He didn’t mention Asher or Percy, so I didn’t bring them up either. It’d have been nice to sort shit out with him, but I couldn’t. Not yet and maybe never. William and I had survived the same version of parents, and he probably wouldn’t care if I told him I was gay, but I’d never even said that word out loud to myself. I couldn’t even form the sound of it.
The gym was practically deserted. Only us workaholics here instead of taking an extra day off to be with family. I got in a good run as the financial news played on a TV, and then we hit the weights. William was a little larger than me, but not as tall. We spotted each other, me going about half speed while he pushed himself. By the end of the two hours, I was drained but in a good way.
“How was it?” William asked. “You’re not feeling like you want to pass out?”
“Stop babying me. I’m fine.”
“Hey, you never know, man. I don’t know how that weak constitution of yours works,” he teased.
I rolled my eyes and pulled my shower bag out of my locker. There was nothing wrong with my constitution, but as the years wore on, and I’d used the excuse ofnot feeling itso often to get out of clubbing or parties or anything where I might have to fake an interest in women, William had come to believe I had health issues.
“But since you’re feeling fine, let’s hit up the club tomorrow night.” He slammed his locker closed and turned for the showers. “I’m not taking no for an answer, Luke. You need to get laid.”
He didn’t know the half of it.
I closed my locker and sighed as I stared at the pale wood. How had I gotten to this point? Thirty-four years old, and the lies I’d lived had become my reality. With Asher crashing into my world, those lies were a bit more obvious than they used to be, though.
Was he even into men? Was I circling this drain for nothing more than an unexpected crush on a straight guy?
My analytical self presented me with the facts on repeat. Asher had pushed off my advance. He’d confessed right after I kissed him. I didn’t know what drove him to dress as a woman or accept the date, but the factors suggested he wasn’t into men. I’d forced the kiss, and he’d quickly shot me down.
He hadn’t been dressed the same since, so maybe it had all been a prank, a bet he lost, and now it was over.
That didn’t deter my imagination. The smile that warmed me from the inside out, his laugh that curled around me like arms, the breath of fresh air he forced into my lungs with his open expressions and teasing words, none of it changed, no matter what he wore or his orientation. At least, not in my mind. Who knew the real Asher.
ClubBlurwasmorepacked than expected for the Saturday after Thanksgiving.
William invited a friend from his work, Remi, and Philip, an acquaintance of ours we’d met at the gym, to make it a party—and possibly because he knew there was a good chance I’d bail early.
