“Daddy ain’t around, so get off my case.” Jamie wiggled and twisted and got nowhere for his efforts.
“You two,” Patty said as she brought in yet another tray of cookies, and perhaps purposefully breaking the tension with it too.
After that very awkward introduction, I met Sylvia, one of Patty’s sisters, and her four kids, Asher’s cousins, and Ben’s sister and brother with their spouses and kids. More cousins. Ihad no hope of remembering their names as the introductions were so brief and interrupted by screaming children.
Honestly, how was a person supposed to know what was screaming due to an emergency and screaming for the hell of it?
Someone mentioned more family would’ve stopped by for the duck hunt, but not all of them had vacation time after New Year’s. Understandable, but good grief. Asher’s family was huge.
The day was a riot of activity and noise. I gave up trying to figure out anything and let Asher sweep me along with the tide. A monstrosity of a sweater—knitted by Granny Someone-I-Couldn’t-Remember—was handed to me at some point as snickers were hidden behind clearing throats. If I wasn’t going to play in the dunk hunt, I had to wear the sweater. Their way of getting everyone involved, so they said.
Sure enough, those not in duck costumes had one version or another of the ugly sweater. The color could only be described as shit brown with a very colorful duck on the front. I assumed it was meant to represent a mallard, but the feather placement was rather precarious, leaving one long feather jutting from between its legs like an erect cock.
Asher snorted when he saw me in it, then fell over sideways, laughing so hard he farted, which made everyone laugh even harder.
Ah, the things we did for love.
After their game was a small break before dinner, which was much earlier in the day than I was accustomed to. Asher explained that was so everyone would be hungry for the ten different desserts later.
No exaggeration.
Patty and Sylvia laughed through stories about their siblings. Apparently, they were two of seven total. The basis of Asher’s many cousins. He had some on his father’s side as well, and from Ben too.
The food was amazing, everyone was super nice, and it wasn’t until they had left that it hit me. Not once had anyone made a single remark about Asher and me as a couple. Except for Jamie, but that hadn’t been from a place of bigotry but of concern for his friend. Though harsh, I understood his reasoning.
Just as Asher had said, no one cared. I had dialed back my need to keep my hands on him at all times, but we had touched. He’d hugged me often, and I’d accepted them with open arms. I’d kissed his neck and stolen smiles and never thought about hiding from anyone. Upon reflection, it had been freeing, but so effortless, I hadn’t noticed at the time.
That night, we lay in bed, the house finally quiet, which seemed unusual given the madhouse it had been all day. Asher curled into my side, his hand under my T-shirt drawing designs on my skin with his fingertips.
“Michael isn’t a homophobe,” he said into the silence.
“Hmm?”
“Jamie’s brother, uh, stepbrother. I hope he didn’t offend you.”
I sighed. “I wasn’t offended. It was an odd exchange, though.”
“He says shit like that to protect him, I think. Jamie’s never explained it, and it sounds weird, but it’s like that tough love, I guess.”
I turned and hugged Asher to my chest. “They’re both lucky to have an understanding friend in you.”
“Yeah. Maybe. I wish I could help Jamie more.”
“If it’s how you say, I think he’s got the best protector already.”
“True. I bet Michael would fight the devil himself if he looked at Jamie the wrong way.”
I smiled, too worn-out from the day to laugh, and fell asleep imagining this as my reality. Being out and living life as I had today, without a single care for what others thought of my sexuality or life choices. Immersing myself in lightheartedbanter, a loving family, and distancing myself from my own cold and aloof one.
I wanted this.
A home where smiles were as plentiful as the noise, where love was as palpable as the lived-in furniture. Asher and his family didn’t only welcome people here; they wanted them here.
Could this life be mine?
Was it okay to want it?
Thishadbeenthebest visit with my family since moving out for college. Luke got along with everyone and miraculously retained his posh bearing. By Tuesday, he had inside jokes with Ben, was giving car advice to Nathan, and helped Momma cook breakfast for everyone. I was thoroughly impressed.
