His voice dropped. “And when I came back that night at the Ball, after we fought, it was because I couldn’t stay away. I was going to tell you everything. I hoped maybe if you knew exactly how I felt you’d...” He looked away.
Choose you?
“But then I heard you with Sienna. That you’d do your duty... and I had my answer.”
Kara’s heart broke a little. “So you left?”
He’d been so close. Just outside the door–
He nodded. “To Durent. I couldn’t–” He took a breath. “I couldn’t watch you plan a wedding to someone else. It was pathetic, really. You were right last night. It had only been four days. The pressure on you with the engagement was ridiculous. I know that. But Kara, I was already so far gone – I couldn’t get you out of my head. And ithurt. To see you with Henry. More than I can say–”
“I’m sorry–” she began.
“Don’t be,” he said quickly. “I understand. I was no better, Kara. I ran instead of telling you the truth. Let my pride, my fear of rejection get in the way when I should have–” He broke off, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “I should have tried harder. Fought for you. I know that now. Wanting you is the one thing I’ve never doubted. Not for a single second.” Anger flashed across his face. “I didn’t need Fatàn’s interference for that.”
Kara’s breath shook as she pulled back from his hands, searching his face – the truth of his words was there for her to see. “Maybe we need to forget all the loud stuff, Sebastian. The prophecies. The war. The Shards. Even the bond,” she insisted. “Do you love me?”
“Yes. You know I do,” he said, desperate and unguarded. “I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. More than I thought possible. That’s the problem. I love you so fucking much it terrifies me.”
How could he think that was a problem?
She leaned in so that their foreheads were touching. “That’s all I need.”
He shook his head. “But Kara, if we bond and I die – I don’t want to damn you to that fate–”
“If you die, I’ll grieve you,” she answered as she drew back to look him in the eye, her palms flat against his bare chest. “Sebastian, it would destroy me whether we were bonded or not. The bond just means I’d feel it more. But I’d rather have a ruined soul from losing you than spend my life never truly having you at all. I would Soulbond with you right now. Declare it before all of Vallenna if I had to. I have no doubts.”
She watched Sebastian closely, his magic spitting crimson across his palms. She thought he was going to deny her again, but the words didn’t come.
Finally he turned away from her and said, “It’s not only the bond, Kara, it’s everything else.” He gestured helplessly. “You’ve been tied to a pyre. Lost your home, everything you knew. Before me, your life was safe. And now–”
“Now I’m free.”
And I would never go back. Even if I could.
He looked at her like she’d lost her mind.
“Yes, I’ve been through terrible things. Yes, I’ve suffered. But do you know what I’ve gained?” She cupped his cheek. “Not just you, although, Gods, that would be enough. But I’ve gained the ability to choose. To decide what matters to me and fight for it. Before you, I was safe – that’s true enough. But I was a prisoner. Engaged to a man I didn’t love, damned to spend my entire life doing what I was told.”
Her voice grew fierce as she reached for his hand again. “I’d rather have a hard life that I chose than an easy life that was chosen for me. You gave me that.” She shook her head. “So don’t do what my father did. Don’t make decisions for me because you think you know what’s best. You’re wrapping it in protection instead of duty, but you’re still taking away my choice.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “Fuck. You’re right.” His shoulders sagged as the realisation hit him. “You’re right,” he repeated. “That’s exactly what I’ve been doing.” He bowed his head, dragged a hand across his face. Then looked back at her. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said gently. “But Sebastian, if you have doubts, if you’re not sure foryou– not out of some sense of protection for me – then we do nothing. Because you can’t force this. You need to want it.”
Every muscle in Sebastian’s body seemed to tense, like he might bolt at any second. He raked a hand through his hair, a harsh laugh escaping him.
“Kara.” His expression cracked, like something inside him had broken free. “I do want it. Of course I do.”
Her heart soared.
“I feel it in my soul, in my magic, in every cursed part of me. I’ve wanted it since – since before I even understood what it was. It’s like every time I touch you, every time you look at me, something inside me says yes. Says her. My bond. My match.” He shook his head, his eyes wild. But this time the wildness looked less like refusal and more like surrender. Relief. “We’ve known each other barely a month. It’s madness. It’s–”
“–the truth,” Kara said. She gave him a small smile. “It’s been a busy month, though.”
That startled a laugh out of him – rough and disbelieving. He let out a shuddering breath and looked at her with a strange, reckless resolve. The fight drained out of him.
“I love you,” he said, completely sincere.
