What the hells is wrong with me?
“Kara, I didn’t–” he started, reaching for her.
“Don’t.” She shoved his hand away roughly. “What I did to you – it’s the most shameful moment of my life. The thing I regret most. Youknowthat.”
“I know, I’m sorry–”
“I let you go,” she shouted over him. “I stood with you when everyone else turned their backs! I spoke for you in front of the entire Council when they called you a traitor.”
“Kara–”
“I went to a pyre for you, Sebastian,” Kara raged. “What else do you want me to do? Burn for real? Because I was ready to do that too!”
No, don’t say that.
He drew back, colour draining from his face. “I–I didn’t mean–”
“You know what I remember most about when I was tied to that stake?”
Sebastian froze, fear flaring sharply inside him.
Her eyes blazed. “I was terrified I’d die without ever getting the chance to tell you I loved you.”
He actually stepped back, his hands trembling. It hurt too much to imagine her tied to that pyre thinking of him, when he hadn’t protected her. He couldn’t bear it. And because – if anything, it only proved what Veyra said. People clung to anything, to anyone, when their life was slipping away.
Even me.
That was desperation. Not something real. And it could vanish the moment she wasn’t afraid.
“Don’t say that,” he rasped, shaking his head hard. “You don’t–you didn’t–”
“I looked into your mind once. Once, Sebastian,” Kara continued, relentless. “And that was all it took for me to give you my life. All of it. All of me. Is that not enough for you?” she demanded.
“It’s not about enough–”
“Then what is it about?” Her voice rose. “Because I gave you everything the day I let you go, Sebastian. That wasn’t the Shards, or fire, or fate. That was me.Mychoice.”
His mind flashed with the memory, the way she’d looked at him when she untied him, joined him, and turned her back on her whole life to do it.
Because Fatàn forced her down that path.
“I do love you for you, Sebastian.” Tears ran freely down her cheeks now. “I don’t care what she says. They can move all the pieces they want, but they can’t create love where it doesn’t exist.”
He wanted nothing more than to believe her. For a heartbeat, he almost did. His foot actually shifted forward half a step of its own accord. But the weight of the Soulbond landed on him. Soulbonds didn’t end in fairy tales. Everyone knew that. They ended in grief, in hollowed-out shells of people left behind. The image of Kara burst into his mind, broken and half-alive because he’d fallen in battle. Because she’d bound herself to a man who lived by his sword.
She’ll be damned the moment I fall.
He stopped. Completely froze.
Her voice turned desperate, pleading. “Sebastian – please you have to hear me–”
His throat got tight, but he forced the words out anyway. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
He turned from her. Couldn’t look at her face.
She’s safe here. Behind Fatàn’s shield. Safer without me.
With that thought burning in his mind, he stormed away from Kara, away from Soulbonds and fate. He threw himself down dark alleyways, through city streets. He didn’t know where he was going, but he needed distance. Needed to get as far away as he could from futures that had written themselves for him.
