Sebastian managed a small nod.
“It wasn’t about the fire. Or what Cade did, or was about to do,” Her voice was quiet but sure. “The moment I saw you... all I could think was that I loved you.”
Sebastian inhaled sharply. “I–” he began but words failed him.
He tried again, “Kara – I–”
Giving up on words, he crushed her to him, as if any space between them was sacrilegious. They stayed like that a long time – holding on like the world might end if they let go. Kara’s breathing slowly evened out, her fingers loosening slightly on the fabric of his tunic as sleep claimed her.
The moment I saw you... all I could think was that I loved you.
The words played over and over again in Sebastian’s mind. He’d seen the pyre built in the square. The horror of her cell, what she had just confided in him. What that fucking monster had put her through. And she’d looked at him and thought about love?
Not death. Not revenge. Not fear.
Love.
Sebastian’s throat felt tight. What kind of strength did it take to look that sort of terror in the eye and feel that? What kind of devotion was that?
And how the hells had he become the person she gave it to? Not even two weeks ago, she had knocked him unconscious, thought him a traitor. And now? Now, she looked at him like he was her whole world. Kissing hands that had killed. Calling him brave. It all felt impossible. Like a dream conjured in a fever – too fast, too intense, too much. And yet every part of it was real. He felt it.
He hadn’t earned it. Hadn’t protected her. He could still feel the seconds slipping by too fast, the ice-cold fear that he’d already been too late.
He might never deserve her.
But Gods, he would die trying to.
They had built a pyre for her. But if the world wanted her to burn, Sebastian Thorne would burn the world first.
CHAPTER 30
ROOKSNEST
The duties of lordship supersede all personal loyalties, including those of blood.
–Principles of Vallennan Lordship, Article II
Sebastian and Kara left the refuge of the barn about an hour after sunrise, two mornings after their escape from Vallenna City. Sebastian lifted Kara onto her valmare himself, his hands steady on her waist.
“I can climb on my own,” she protested.
“Not when your hands are still shaking.” His tone left no room for argument. He busied himself checking her straps and stirrups. For the second time. He adjusted her cloak. Pulled it tighter around her shoulders. Reached up to her face to brush a strand of hair back–
“Sebastian–”
It was like he couldn’t stop himself.
“Humour me.”
He’d worried over her more, if that was possible, since she’d returned that morning. Kara had slipped into Falcroft village before dawn and sent the coded message to Sebastian’s father – asking him to meet them somewhere called Rooksnest in three days. Sebastian had stolen them a second valmare from the village stables. It’d made sense to separate. A lone woman at a hawk post drew less attention. She’d felt bad about having to steal the hawk, with no Creststone to pay for it; hers had been confiscated when she was captured. Sebastian had laughed – she was wanted for treason and worried about borrowing a bird? He was right. It had to be done. And even though she’d returnedwithout incident, her being out in the open without him, around potential dangers, had affected him.
She watched Sebastian run a hand along her saddle one final time. He looked better than he had when they first fled the City – he’d washed the blood away at the stream, and colour had returned to his cheeks. Stubble shadowed his jaw now, the mask he usually wore dropped completely. He looked more himself than she’d ever seen him. He’d even managed some real sleep last night. But the tiredness lingered. It was still etched in the heaviness in his expression, and he moved slower, more deliberately. It wasn’t just exhaustion that plagued him. She’d seen it in his eyes, once or twice, when he thought Kara wasn’t looking. Him reliving the horror of her captivity. And knowing him, blaming himself.
I shouldn’t have told him about the pyre.
And yet, he focused all his attention on her. Like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.
“Do you think he’ll come?” she asked, when he finally handed her the reins.
