Taiga sniffed, dabbing at his eye. “What a delinquent you are. We didn’t raise you like this.”
“Not another word,” snapped Kade, pushing his way between his friends as they blocked his path. They broke easily but didn’t go away, opting to instead hover in his doorway. That wasn’t not ideal, he needed them gone, quickly.
To Kade’s horror, the apprentice dorms hadn’t been as abandoned as he’d hoped when he’d burst into the wing at a near sprint. Porthos and Taiga had waited for him, like the horrible, awful friends they were.
At the sight of him, they had both given Kade horribly knowing looks, smirking and waggling their eyebrows at the sight of his frumpy robes and tousled appearance.
Kade could crawl into a hole and die.
“Go away,” Kade said, shooing at them. “I have to change.”
“Go right ahead,” said Taiga, his expression sly as a fox. “Don’t let us stop you, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before, webathe together regularly after all.”
“The door is open.”
Porthos hummed and exchanged glances with Taiga. “No, I don’t think so. Everyone’s already downstairs and you know it. Try again.”
“Ah, but Porthos, it sounds like he has something to hide. Is that it, Kade? Is there something you don’t want us to see?”
They grinned at him, twin expressions of villainous glee on their faces.
Caught, Kade could do nothing but glare. He turned his face towards the ceiling and sighed, frustrated and embarrassed. Couldn’t they have mercy, just for today?
“Oh,” Porthos gasped. Then, he lunged forward into Kade’s space and pulled roughly at the neckline of his robes, peering down the front at the newly exposed skin. He was laughing at Kade, pure shock and disbelief. “Were you attacked? Were you mauled? How are you standing right now?”
Kade wrestled away, his ears burning.
Taiga’s eyes bulged. “Whoa. That’s intense. Who exactly did you fuck?”
“Blink twice if you need help, darling, because anyone who does something likethatis surely crazy.”
“Yes. Not all there in the head.”
“On your first night together, too? How bold.”
“How possessive." Taiga paused, his eyes narrowing in speculation. “Which one are you? Top? Bottom?”
Porthos swatted at their dark haired friend. “You can’t ask that! It’s rude. Plus, there’s no reason to ask, it’s obvious. Could you really see Kade ever bending someone over? No. Obviously not.”
“Ah. You’re right.” Taiga eyed him sympathetically. “Are you sore? I can grab you a vitality elixir as a pick-me-up.”
“Enough! Leave me alone.” Kade was so incredibly over their antics. “Are you not worried about being late?”
“It’s still the feast,” said Taiga with a lax shrug. “There’s no way Hokda is showing up anytime before noon. He loves his drink. And don’t try and change the subject! You’re not getting out of this.” There was a gleam in his eyes that Kade didn’t like. At all. “Who?”
“No.”
Porthos narrowed his eyes. “Is it a secret?”
“…No.”
Another irritating glance between the two.
“Ah. I got it. They’re married.” Porthos waggled his finger at Kade.”Naughty, naughty.”
Kade scowled. “They’re not married.”
Taiga looked genuinely confused. “Then why won’t you tell us?”
