It’s too cold in my room, Kade would say. Or,it’s too loud. I can’t focus on my studies.
Bullshit reasons, but Killian never called Kade on it.
Killian liked coming home to find Kade curled in front of thefire, a large text propped on his lap or doing extra studies at the desk or waiting by the fire with two portions of dinner, and on bad days, he would find Kade fast asleep buried under the blankets in his bed.
On rare nights—special occasions only—Killian would treat Kade with a short excursion into Fyar’s garden. They could never risk staying too long, as the king often ventured there in the middle of the night himself when he couldn’t sleep. Some visits they would wander, Kade prattling on and on and on about all the different plants he recognized, and even about the ones he didn’t, wondering aloud at their properties and uses. Killian, ever supportive as he was, listened. The words meant nothing to him, but he was satisfied to fall into a lull at the rise and fall of Kade’s voice.
They would always end up in the pavilion overlooking the lake, tucked into the corner on adjoining benches, watching the fish swim in circles under the moon. Talking. About nothing and everything all at once.
Healing.
Over the past few months, Killian had found himself feeling more at ease than he had in the last century at the palace. There was a lightness in his chest when he woke up and a warmth in his heart when he went to bed. He was sure it was because, at any moment, Kade was somewhere under the same roof. That knowledge alone settled something in him.
He only needed to remember to keep himself in check.
Things had been loose lately, too easy and too nice. Killian had allowed himself to get a bit too comfortable. Blurring the lines between fantasy and reality.
Killian easily lost himself in that Kade was there, so close thathe could touch him. He had a hard time keeping his hands to himself. A lingering touch here or there, an arm over Kade’s shoulder, a hug. He was beginning to forget all the reasons he was trying to stay away in the first place, lost in a closeness that almost hurt.
And that was dangerous.
Killian just got this back, he couldn’t lose it already. Not because he was reckless and stupid and happy.
Kade sat on the water’s edge, his fingers leaving ripples over the moon’s reflection. He traced meaningless patterns in the water’s surface. “It’s beautiful here. Peaceful and quiet. It’s a shame more can’t experience it.”
“It’s only so peaceful and quietbecausemore elves can’t experience it.”
“True,” Kade chuckled. “The palace has been quiet these days. Everyone’s left.”
Just before the new year, life in the elven kingdom of Netyere stopped. Shops and restaurants closed and elves left the cities in droves, traveling the distance to their familial homes to celebrate the coming new year with those they loved.
The palace was all but empty. It’s ivory halls silent.
It was always Killian’s favorite time of year. “All that’s left is you and me and Hokda. Whoopee. Familyless workaholics, the lot of us.”
“Hey! We’re family!”
“Are we?” Killian quipped. He was mostly joking. Mostly.
Kade’s smile melted and something unreadable gleamed in his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Why did he say that? “Nothing. It was nothing.”
Throwing an arm over the rail in a forced casualty, Killianturned away from Kade and looked out over the water. He needed to learn to keep his fucking mouth shut.
Kade’s amber eyes bore holes in the side of Killian’s face. “Killi.”
“Kade.”
Letting out a long breath, Kade’s next words came out slow, each one picked carefully. “You’re right. In a way. You’re not my family.” Killian flinched. “You’remore. I don’t have the words to describe what you are to me.”
“It’s alright, Kade. You don’t have to explain anything to me. It was a joke—a bad one apparently.”
“I don’t think it was,” said Kade. He swallowed. “When you were taken, it nearly killed me. I felt like my entire world was crumbling around me. It was like I’d losteverything. I stayed in Turell and I took care of Pella and I worked the fields and I paid my father’s debts because I had to. There was nothing else for me. Then, word came that you were pardoned, and all I wanted was to go find you. To knock on every door in Ingara, if that’s what it took. But I couldn’t because I was stuck there. It was all I thought about.Youwere all I thought about.”
Kade said, ”You’re my entire world.”
Kade said, “But you’re not ready, and that’s okay. I can wait. I can wait for you.”
